#anyway i'm sure this is just me reading too much into it (HEAVY SARCASM)

[skloomdumpster]

"you were going to walk out my life forever, so you wrote me a fucking letter" "that's because I knew if I told you in person you'd try to-" "What? Try to stop you? Yes I would, Bloom- Do you even know what's beyond that?" "I don't know" "Do you even know where it leads?" "I don't know" "Do you know if it's dangerous?" "No."

"But it has to be closed from the inside and I'm the only one who can do it-" "-I don't think you want to try and find I different way. I think you want a way out, I think you wanted a way out for a long time now"

+ the suicide letters for each loved one

"She's gone" while the girls cry and hug each other

If you read that ending as anything other than death, I have no idea of what to tell you

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Sebastian (Pressure) fluff. I need it.

"I gotta ask, do you have personal beef with those Squiddles? Because you sure like harassing them with that light of yours."

"I don't do it on purpose! If that damn Angler stopped killing the lights in every big room, maybe I could see my own hand in front of me!" You scowled up at the sea creature while standing in his humble shop.

Why was Sebastian always taunting you whenever you died to something unexpected..only to act all friendly-like in this place?

Well, you had to be grateful he was the only thing down here that wasn't trying to kill you, and that no other monsters could barge into the shop when you least expect it.

So for once, you could breathe easy..

Until he decided to remind you of those creepy squids who were somehow always in your way.

He must get a kick out of watching you perish.

"Oh of course, blame everybody except yourself." He tsked. "You have more than enough clues on how to survive each creature you encounter...but maybe they should've spoonfed all the details to you instead-"

"I don't need this from you." You huffed. "My damn hands are cramped from holding a locker shut against Pandemonium, Eyefestation gave me a killer headache, nobody bothered to tell me about the people in the walls-"

"And don't forget about those Squiddles, hehe."

Silence.

"Okay, okay. I've had my fun. I'll shut up about them now."

"Thanks. You have any medkits available?"

"Right on my tail, buddy. Hope you got enough data."

"More than enough." As your eyes surveyed the items strapped to his tail, they eventually wandered over to the desk with batteries laying out.

But it wasn't them that caught your interest, but rather the file on the table. 'How curious..is this for a monster I'm gonna meet soon?' You went over to investigate.

"Is the document for sale?"

"Wow, you might be the first to ask me about that and be able to afford it! The others before you barely had enough for a flashlight." Sebastian chuckled, clasping his hands together. "If you're interested, give me a thousand data, and I'll have it ready for you to read when you return to the surface. And don't worry, it's all there. So I won't have to kill you to to reveal any information."

You blinked, realizing what he meant by that as you read the folder's cover and why he was asking so much for it.

Sebastian's Document

Of course, you knew he'd be recognized as a specimen, too, but to be put with Pandemonium, the Anglers, and all those other monsters that tried to eat you alive?

For some reason, it made you frown a little.

"This is your file, and they let you keep it?" You turned back to him.

"...I stole it. And I'm not gonna lie...I regret reading it." He muttered, suddenly looking a bit tense..and sad, even, although he was quick to mask any signs of vulnerability when he realized you were staring. "Anyways, it's a steep price. I'm sure you'd rather spend your assets on-"

"What if I buy it and take it off your hands right now?"

For a moment, his ear fins perked up with surprise, glowing eyes widening. But he was quick to give you a suspicious gaze. "Really? You're that nosey about my lifestory? Pretty weird if you ask m-"

"It's more of a courtesy to you."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean..you look like you're carrying a heavy weight just from that folder being there. You haven't stopped looking at it since I mentioned it." You pointed out, seeing his ears twitch again. "You've always told me "out of sight, out of mind" with the Anglers. Couldn't I say the same about you and that document?"

".....using my own words against me, eh? What're you, a damn psychologist?" He teased, although his words didn't hold as much spite or sarcasm as usual. "But no, you're right. I'd rather forget about it forever. So if you want it that badly, be my guest." His third arm made a grand gesture towards the table. "Just don't get caught parading it around. And don't come crying to me when you realize you needed something else instead of-"

"I won't, trust me." You exchanged the data, taking the folder. "I'll be on my way now. I got a crystal to find."

With that, you began ducking down to renter the vent and continue your journey into the abandoned site-

"Hey."

You paused and looked back at Sebastian, tilting your head as you wondered why he seemed nervous again--wringing his hands together.

"Um..thank you, genuinely..for taking that off my hands." He cleared his throat, sweeping back his dark bangs. "I hope that whatever you find in there doesn't..get in the way of our "partnership". I'd hate to lose my number one customer."

Nodding, you gave him a reassuring smile. "You won't lose my business, Seb. That I promise."

"..now hold on we aren't THAT close to start going by nickna-" He began to snap, but you've already disappeared into the duct. "Aaaand they're gone...hmph..well..least I don't have to worry about that anymore."

Sighing, he looked around the shop, wondering what he should do now.

What you did was certainly a nice gesture.

He only hopes you'll keep your promise and not be afraid of him.

[gloromeien]

Hellooooo I hope your day is good? Have an ask!

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love! <3

Whoo, my first ask! And from the exceptional and lovely @zenaidamacrouras1, whose fic Monoclonius I'm re-reading right now and loving just as much as the first time. An all-time fave, really, with just the best, sexiest, nerdiest Bucky and the sweetest dad Steve. Check it out if you haven't!

But this of course is supposed to be about *my* fics, so let's get started.

Five Favorite Fics That I've Written:

History Repleating (Or the Proper Care and Feeding of One Steven Grant Rogers), Modern AU, Shrunkyclunks, kidfic

Summary: Captain America!Steve receives a letter from Dr. J.B. Barnes, Brooklyn Historical Society. Except not quite that J.B. Barnes. This leads to Steve and Bucky having a meet cute via Bucky's work as a history teacher. Smut, fluff, and a smidge of angst ensue.

Comments: This one is, IMHO, the best fic I've ever written. Which is not to say it's good, exactly--your mileage may vary--but I don't think I'm ever going to get to this place again. It was winter 2022. We were all just re-emerging from lockdown. I was in the process of caring for my sweet little corgi girl at the end of her life, and I just needed some joy, you know? Something fun to look forward to. I feel like I channeled a lot of those emotions, that grief, into the Steve in this fic. Though it's not a sad fic by any means! It's full of bad jokes and sarcasm and sweetness and found family and people just caring for each other beyond reason. Bucky here is a bright light that comes into Steve's life at just the right moment, that allows him to believe that he could have a real future with someone to love. I really needed to hear that right about then, and so, as Alexander Hamilton sings, I wrote my way out. For that reason and many more, this will always have a special place in my heart.

Last Exit to Brooklyn, Modern AU, Shrunkyclunks, SoulMark

Summary: When Steve Rogers emerged from the ice, he wound up not only in a whole new century, but also with a brand-new soul mark. Knowing that the person he was destined to be with might be just around the corner made it easier for him to settle into a future where happily ever after was a sure thing. Until the Romanian drummer of a 'popular in Europe' heavy metal band, and freight car of personal baggage, come crashing into his life...

Comments: This fic is a confluence of so many things I really, really, really love. Soul mark AUs, for one. I looooooooove those. But I only wanted to write one if I felt like I could bring something new to the table. Once I hit on this particular idea, I knew I had to write it. Also, Tommy Lee!Seb kept me up nights, friends. I loved his look in that so much. As a teen, I had a whole hair metal phase. And it was a fun way to pay a little tribute to Seb's Romanian heritage, so... anyway. I particularly adore some of my Romanian OCs in this--two of them being not so veiled versions of Nadja and Laszlo in What We Do in the Shadows, LOL. Feeling kind of weird about tooting my own horn here, being Canadian and all (Sorry. Sorry. Sorry?) But anyway, they were all really fun to write, even if I think the fic ended up being a little too long and more angsty than I expected. A good thing? A bad thing? You can decide for yourself. ;)

Cut Him Out in Little Stars, Medieval AU, kidfic, arranged marriage

Summary:

Two Houses, both alike in dignity In fair Venora, where we lay our scene

Three years after a brutal, bloody war that saw their formerly friendly queendoms at odds for the first time in history, Prince Steven Rogers of House Grant seeks to solidify the peace between Lehigh and Venora through an alliance--marriage with Prince James Barnes of House Buchanan, his childhood friend turned unexpected enemy. But after years as the Fist of Hydra and a long recovery from brainwashing and torture, Bucky isn't in a place to marry anyone, let alone someone he doesn't even remember. Stubborn to the core, afflicted by tragic losses, and still half in love with someone who might only be a memory, Steve and his family journey to Lynbrooke, the capital of Venora, to attempt to end the tension between their queendoms, and perhaps heal his wounded heart.

Comments: My least-viewed fic by a wide margin, but one that I really love. Playing with the big tropes can be so much fun, and arranged marriage is one of the biggest and messiest. I also rewatched Seb in Kings right before writing this, and it started as a crossover between the world of that series and the idea of arranged marriage. But eventually it took its own path. I have a total soft spot for the Bucky in this one. Probably the most broken I've ever written him. I shy away from Winter Soldier recovery fics--love reading them, will never write one myself--and this is the closest I'll probably get to that. One of the reasons it's close to my heart is because I feel like they really earn their happy ending in this one.

A Slaying in Scarlet, a LOTR Mystery

Summary: On the eve of Aragorn’s coronation, Legolas and Elrohir are charged with investigating a brutal murder at the Citadel.

Comments: My AO3 account is split into two eras. From about 2002-2010-ish, I was heavily involved in the LOTR fandom, specifically writing Legolas/Elrohir, but also a few other pairings, including some OOC pairings along the way. After that, I went off to be a romance writer for a little while (and yes, I'm going to shamelessly plug my Stoker & Bash mystery romance series, because I'm fucking proud of them.) Then watching FatWS knocked me for six, and here we are, all Stucky, all the time. All this to say that my early LOTR work, I am certain, is not good. I have not re-read anything in ages, nor will I ever, most likely. But it was in writing those fics that I found a bit of my voice, and they gave me courage as a writer, and so I couldn't leave them off this list completely. This one is a Sherlock Holmes type deal, because I am also obsessed with mysteries. Hopefully it stands up a little bit. Buyer beware.

A Place to Rest and Remember Yourself (In My Arms), Shrunkyclunks

Summary: It's 2015, and Steve is living in a post-publicly coming out world. His every move is scrutinized in the tabloids and on social media, he's still wrestling with life in the 21st century, and the paparazzi never give him any peace. Making friends who aren't co-workers is practically impossible, let along dating. His solution? Have a regular, no-strings 'arrangement' with one of Natasha's honeypots. Bucky is a former spy and adventurer who used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D., but left for *reasons*. Having just gotten his heart ripped to shreds by a traitorous ex, he finds the idea of a discreet, 'with benefits' arrangement with his teenage-years crush very, very appealing. But you know what they say about what happens the minute you stop looking for love...

Comments: I wanted to write something quick and fun and smutty as hell for Stucky Week 2023. Instead... *sighs* You'll note that this ended up being 18 freaking chapters long. Why am I like this? I wish I knew.

One of my fic-writing missions is to give Steve Rogers the ending he deserves. The MCU did not treat him or his PTSD right--this is well-established in both fandom and a ton of metas more insightful than anything I could ever write on the subject. But where I feel like I maybe can address this a little is in fic. My aim here was to just spoil Steve rotten. To give him the literal world back, in the form of a Bucky who has serious wanderlust. It was also so much fun to play with Doctor Strange and the whole Sanctum Sanctorum stuff, Layla and Marc, Darcy of course, Nat and Sam. The 'love shield' Steve throws up in front of the press was inspired by Harry Windsor's PR move from many moons ago. My favorite part, about this fic, about writing fics in general, is when love just kind of happens to two people who aren't really paying attention, and suddenly it's everything, and they have to conform their lives to this new gorgeous reality. Anyway that's what I'm going for in every fic I write.

This was more talking about myself than any Canadian should do in a month, let alone a day. I need to go lie down. I don't love tagging other authors in these things, but if @burberrycanary, @bluesimplicity73, @musette22, @leveragehunters, or @dontcallmebree haven't done this yet and feel like it, I would love to read your thoughts on your incredible fics. And you, readers, please don't miss any of their tremendous work. Take it from me, their amazing stories (and Zenaida's) keep many a monster at bay when the night is dark and full of terrors. Big love to everyone out there sharing their creative endeavors with the world! <3

[makuzume]

🔅About Me + Rules!🔅

Call me Makuzume or Kuzume! (Or whatever other nickname you want)

Not a minor || He/She/They || Non-binary

Arts student (Animation & Film)

C6 Xiao main and Xiao lover <3

When interacting we can be sweet OR chaotic >:D Completely platonic + affectionate interactions! Using any petname is okay! (babe, loves, bestie, dude, bro, girl, etc.)

Leave any comment on my post/my asks PLS because my will to live comes from 50% writing and 50% whatever tf you say to me I love reading them

Kindly refrain from using unclear sarcasm/vague statements pls sometimes I can't tell and I don't want to misinterpret helppp💀 (personal skill issue)

Fandoms: Genshin Impact and Jujutsu Kaisen

✅Accepting requests for:

Fluff

NSFW/Smut (except underaged characters)

SMAU/Texting imagines

Imagines/headcannons

Angst to comfort, comfort only, or angst only (YES pls hurt me)

AUs/Alternative endings for my other posts

x reader

Character x character (multishipping allowed)

Single character or multiple character reqs

Non-ship fics (or something like a character's inner dialogue thing)

Platonic or romantic themes

Pride themes🏳️‍🌈 (I'm not straight)

Readers, by default, would become gn! unless necessary for the request. But I will write for AFAB, AMAB, Fem, Masc, and Queer reader.

Send a req anyway if you're not sure if it's okay ^^

❌NOT Accepting:

Underaged NSFW content (kissing, hugging, holding hands, and light stuff is okay)

Minor x Adult be it minor!charac x charac/charac x minor!reader (pdf-philia is a huge hard pass for me)

Inc3st

Aging up minors for heavy NSFW content

R4pe/Unconsensual NSFW

NSFW sl4ve-master dynamic

Mei Mei in JJK because she practically checks out this entire list

Xiao from Genshin. Not because I hate him. I love him actually. I love him so much I would not be able to contain my emotions and transform into a wolf and start howling. No one else makes me giggle like Xiao. I'm not normal for him.

Disclaimer: would post them in the order of whichever reqs I've daydreamed enough ideas to write about, not in the order they came in!

I often get side tracked on what I want to write so I will mostly publish according to what I felt like making

Also, I'm a student so I'm balancing my college degree and my true nerdy life calling as a fanfic author so pls wait patiently!💕

🫂Socials:

@Kuzume_art on X/Twitter (@Makuzume on X for dark art)

@Makuzume basically everywhere but this leads to my main art acc on Behance

@Makuzume for my quirky music choice on Spotify

Makuzume (UID 830090939) on Genshin (send me a Welkin pls) Inbox me so I can accept u ^^

Additional: I share Palestine donation asks from my inbox, but I only don't share if they claim it's vetted w/o proof, no proper acknowledgements from trusted users, not enough validations from the notes, not a gfm link (not a determiner of its legitemacy, but something to take note of) and most especially if they don't have pictures of themselves or have any other posts. Most of the time, I just note that it's not 100% vetted and share it, but certain asks are too vague and suspicious for me to share to my followers.

[empressofthelibrary]

15 questions, 15 friends

tagged by @pendrvgons

are you named after anyone? My mother picked my legal first name based on her late best friend, who passed shortly before I was born. My penname began as Alanna West, and both halves of that are from fictional characters. I use Alanna as a middle name now, and "Emory Alanna" has such a nice ring to it. I'm really happy with it -- I might make it my legal name, if I ever wanna set anything in stone.

when was the last time you cried? Within the last thirty-six hours. I've slept a lot today as the last two days caught up with me, so beyond that I'm not sure.

do you have kids? What, in this economy? Hah! ...Jokes aside, no, I don't, and tbh I'd probably be a terrible parent anyway.

what sports do you play/have you played? I used to do archery as a hobby when I was a teenager. I miss it, but I never had the opportunity to really practice.

do you use sarcasm? Me? Sarcastic? Noooo...

what is the first thing you notice about people? Their voices, I think. I'm not good at eye contact and I'm pretty faceblind, so those things tend to slip past me. But voices are much easier for me to recognize.

what is your eye color? Blue!

scary movies or happy endings? I'm not a horror movie person. I'll enjoy the occasional thriller, I guess, but I want to know the heroes win. Even if it's a temporary victory, with a bigger threat still out there. "The heroes die, the villains win" is basically impossible for me to enjoy. Tragedy can be fun, you know I love Hamlet. But I need to be expecting a tragic ending, in such a case, and the villains need to lose too, even if the heroes die in the process.

any talents? I write! I've been told I sing well, but I still waffle back and forth on if I can believe it. I can draw decently, both digitally and traditionally. I used to be really good at climbing trees, too, but I'm too heavy and too short to haul myself up like I used to.

where were you born? Oklahoma, unfortunately.

what are your hobbies? Reading, drawing, writing, and I'm trying to learn to play guitar. I also do very bad, off-key karaoke sometimes.

do you have any pets? Three cats. They are needy baby terrors and I love them.

how tall are you? 5'4", I think?

favorite subject in school? I excelled in English in k-12, and art was great. I loved science, but I wasn't good enough at math to really get into it. I wanted to enjoy my history classes more, but the sliced-up way it was taught made it really difficult.

dream job? Oh, jeez, I dunno. I'm not sure I even have one anymore. I honestly wish I could just spend all my time doing art and creating things, and not have to worry about money. That's the dream, really.

I'm not tagging fifteen people, but: @lovelyladylavie @lilyntlrs @saberwriter @twinklecupcake aaaand... @techmomma and @crayonurchin 💛 (no pressure, only if y'all wanna)

[mayuyu-nezu]

Bustafellows!! Kansou log.

entry 1: 07/03/2024

Prologue - Chap 1

This post contains heavy spoilers about the game Bustafellows. It is basically me rambling about games. Read at your own risk.

Today I played bustafellows for the first time. I heard a lot of good things about it and it was 40% off on steam so I bought it.

The start menu was pretty cool, it looked like a futuristic control panel, maybe a hacker thing is involved in the story.

It was soooo confusing at first. I didn't know who was talking to who (because the mc voice was a male sob) and struggled for two hours to find the menu button.

The background art is beautiful with little animations to give life to it, and is pretty cool. The sound of the city is cool too. I don't really like the character art for male characters... but it's okay Yuru’s filter is on.

But then there are the back side sprites, it feels so weird. But then they do even weirder. You get to see the back of your character (the MC). It kinda feels like they are telling you you are only reading a story and the mc isn't you.

As for the first impression about the characters.....

Helvetica: The worst first meeting ever, I seriously don't like this guy. He gives scores to your face, plus overly friendly and touchy for a first meeting. 

The only positive point about him might be the fact he is straightforward and realistic? He will probably tell you everything he thinks about you without a filter. I don't hate him as a character but I'm not sure about dating him. He seems like a nice person to be friends with…

The hitman woman impersonation mission was kinda cool. And how his voice actor just change voice was really cool damn. (don’t know if the girl voice and his regular voice is done by the same person) 

Limbo: Such a cheeky brat at first then understood he was just the little brother of his family. A little bit too perfect? Kinda precious. But with chapter 1 he showed his reliable big bro side with a lot of money with the other brat (edie). He is actually really smart, not only lore wise. I like the fact they show how smart he actually is and didn't make him make stupid choices so far. I was moved when he was the first person to think about a solution to help us when we lose our apartment and gave us several viable solutions so fast. He is very reliable. Very precious with his sister. I wanna bully him so much. My third favorite so far.

Shu: He seems cool and dangerous at first but then you see how caring he is in his way uuuugghhhdgqqskdhsqgdj 

Like how he let Edie understand shooting on someone is a heavy burden to carry. He had so many ways to make him understand but he chose the most cruel, efficient but yet kind way. 

I bet the first person he had to kill was someone precious to him……. Sob… I really like his relationship with the other members, his tongue is so sharp but without ill intent just so full of sarcasm. I think his route will be perilous and we will be arguing with him the whole time, sob. My second favorite.

Mozu: Don't know much about him but he is my favorite so far. I love his voice so much!!! (fukuyama jun!) He is cute, has the weirdest humor. He seems like a very sensitive person. I want to know more about him… He is a mom, he cooks, he is pretty, a tsun or a kuu I don't know. Mommy. babu areuh. (IQ 2 Yuru)

Crow: I don't know what to say about him. He is a nice guy but he is so cringe…!! And screaming cherryboy!!! He is like a teenager!!! Kinda pure in his delusions!! But very considerate but he is a bit scary. It feels like he will be very scary if he gets angry I dunno… There always is darkness in hikikomori characters. Anyway, someone help him please and make him touch some grass and breathe some fresh air. He is like a shiba inu… (I don't really like shiba inus even if they are cute.) He feels a bit too immature. I might consider him like a little brother and no more. Sorry but you are my least favorite.

MC: She is the hero type character who just wants to save everyone. I don't really like this kind of character. but…! She is hard working and her will to find scoops over money is kinda lovable. I like her so far even though she tend to let her emotions overwhelm her actions despite being a journalist. I hope she was a bit more of an analytical/rational person. 

Sauli: Why isn't this fine wine romanceable cry? seriously more interested in him than Helvetica.

Valerie: Limbo's sister, I really like her! She is so proud of her little brother and is so supportive!! So precious, strong. And pretty!!

Luka: She is such a good friend. I love her. And she is pretty Badass too! I believe she has a crush on MC tho.

Alex: Very cute and a good boy.

Irina: A mysterious woman, I don’t know what her plan is but it feels like she has given up on living for some reason as if she is ready to throw her life away to save someone. 

Carmen: Damn pretty and cute. I love her. Her interactions with Alex are really adorable. She is like his mom or sister…

The story is pretty interesting so far and the side characters are very cool and have a lot of charm.

[ultrastarbee]

Beeee! Do you remember the "no effort cookies" with Ran? Can we have more of that same sassy reader? I loved her so much she is such a little bitch lol so my request for the event is Ran tries to take reader on a date, but she is not so sweet and they both end up trying to ruin every couple's date they see

Hi there! I sure do remember and I really love "No effort cookies" with Ran. Thinking about making them a little serie, since I got ideas and at least one reader for it. Thanks for your request honey!

Title: My annoying valentine Request: yes 💚💛 Couple: Ran x fem!reader Category: fluffy, funny Content Warning: none Word Count: 958 Summary: he annoys the shit out of you, yet Ran insist on a date A/N: I made this one as a direct sequel of "no effort cookies", but it can be read without the other one, don't worry

CUPID IS A DUMB B! event

MASTERLIST ……. RULES ……. SERIES LIST

You are a pain in the ass for our young cupid because you don't put up with anyone's shit. Hard to deal, hard to love. But there are people strong enough to deal with you. Plase, he just need someone to put on your life! Luckly for him, he knows exactly the one: another pain in the ass, of course. Annoying with annoying must be a good pair, isn't it?

Being the head of the student council you have to deal with the Haitani brothers daily. Specially the older one, who is now waiting for you to finish your tasks for the day.

"The hell you want, Ran?" as soon as you step out of the classroom, you jump back seeing him there.

"You" always with a smirk on his face.

"Leave me the fuck alone"

"You gave me cookies and now we are dating, remember?"

"It was just a kiss, don't take it too serious. Saw you doing it before with random people." you start walking away and Ran is sure to follow your steps.

"Oh, my! My girlfriend is jealous?" the sarcasm is heavy on his voice.

"Not your girlfriend"

"But jealous for sure" Ran laughs "We are going on a date"

"We are not"

"Yes, we are" as you both pass by a group of students, Ran puts an arm around your shoulders and stares at them for a while before whispering in your ear "you can thank me with a date"

"Thank you? What are you talking about, braidy?" you knew what he's talking about. Being the president of the student council always comes with privileges and heavy burdens.

"You are a little bitch, don't you know? People hate you" Ran sighs. He knew you better than you thought "the whole week they are trying to get you alone"

"Oh, yeah? Let them come, then"

"Can't let my girlfriend gets hurt"

"Again, I'm not your girlfriend" you roll your eyes "but I guess you have been kinda sweet? Thank you"

"Thank me with a date" Ran tries again "promise you will have fun"

"What if I don't?" looking at him you just know he won't give up.

"Then I leave you alone"

"Deal" you give in. He has been caring and deep down you don't want him to leave you alone. Ran is trouble, but a fun trouble.

First things first: Ran never thought you would actually say yes to him. Don't get me wrong, he is used to people kissing the ground he walks in, but you just don't. Since the beggining of the year when you were elected as the president of the student council you stood your ground trying to make him and Rindou follow the rules. Of course you fail everytime, but eventually you three made a deal where you stay out of their way and they don't bring trouble to you. It was all fun and games untill Valentine's Day last week when your friend needed help to keep Ran away of his brother so your friend could give Rindou some homemade cookies. Now everyone thinks you and Ran are dating. Even though he knows you are not, Ran has his fun with it everyday.

"Look at you. All fancy for me?" the smirk on his face is there as always.

"You are one to talk" you got a little confused with your hearbeat speeding up just by seeing his hair loose, but kept your cool anyway "looking good"

"I always look good"

"So, what are we doing today, boyfriend?" you can easily mimic his sarcasm.

"Well, girlfriend, we are having fun of course" you can see how much Ran liked to hear you calling him that "but first, if I can make you have fun, you will have to go on another date with me"

"What if I don't?"

"Then I leave you alone, remember?" approuching you a little, you can feel your skin quivering at the sound of his voice "Or do you regret the deal?"

"No way, braidy"

"Then let's enjoy our date"

Ran knows damn well how to win people over, but he also knows you are not going to be easy. Maybe that's why he's attracted to you. You don't fear the name Haitani and you are not head over heels for him or his brother. Knowing you for some time now, Ran noticed something very peculiar about you: you, the student council president, good grades and well behaved, love to piss people off. That's why he planned what he did.

The first thing you both did was go to the movies and pick seats at the back just to trow popcorn on the couples trying to kiss. Keeping the popcorn, Ran takes you to a park where couples like to do picnics. The popcorn was thrown again, now calling lots of pigeons to shit on the couples' food. Everytime a couple was taking pictures, you and Ran photobombed them. The next thing you did was waiting outside an icecream shop just to make a couple trip and drop their icecream. Ran also got a whistle to blow everytime someone was gonna say "I love you" to their relative ones. At the aquarium, Ran bought all the food just to keep the fishes away from the couples.

"Shit, never laugh this much" back to the park after being chased by an angry couple, you and Ran are still giggling together as you sat on the grass.

"That means you had fun" you don't even need to look at him to know Ran is smirking.

"Yeah, maybe" you give in again since you can't deny it now "You can actually be a good boyfriend, can't you?"

"Then our next date will start now. I'm starving"

[rumblelibrary]

I'm not sure if you have already done something like this before, and if you did, please let me know, I'd love to read it, BUT I was wondering if you could do a little thing, maybe with Sebastian Zöllner, where he is like totally behind on every fucking deadline, work is just piling up, he got into stress with his ex, the dishes are not done, he should go take out the trash, you know, everything is just piling up and he just cracks under the pressure, severely doubting his worth as a person. And his friend, the reader, gotta try their best to build him up again, telling him all the things they love about him, and it slowly turns into a love confession without them noticing.

Is this too elaborate, does that make sense for Seb? Idk. To me it does? Like he's always very...Seb around other people, but deep down I feel like he's always under this pressure to live up to his own and others expectations, wanting to be big and famous and perfect in a way.

I'm so sorry, brain go brrr.

Never Enough [Sebastian Zöllner x Reader]

Word Count: 4k Warnings: bad habits (heavy smoking and drinking), self deprecation, depression and some fluff in the end. A/N: I loved this prompt, I love to write Sebastian so thanks to you once more for giving me this opportunity

He should have probably realised something was wrong when the ashtray was vomiting cigarettes out from its dooming position beside the laptop.

He nervously used the left part of the one he just ended to scavenge some space and just pressed it along the others.

Or maybe when after another sip of the same cold coffee mixed with cheap gin he felt the walls of his stomach revolting and stirring against him, threatening a much bigger damage.

Or, again, when he felt like calling back Elke because he was so alone and he was hungry and tired, and she might hate him but he could pull some puppy eyes and maybe it would work. It usually did.

The truth was that he shouldn’t have taken up so many jobs, but the bank account was crying and he needed them, he needed the money.

But again: writing about the umpteenth girl- artist performing naked on a famous historic location?

Or do we have to talk about the way somebody splashed some colour here and there  on a canvas saying it is the catharsis of his young mind against the social construct?

Please, may God spare him from the man calling himself landscape artist because he takes pictures of naked girls on a field.

Charged up with this amount of nothingness, he could just write and delete, write and delete, words count going quickly up to 400 only to go back at 0 in a snap of his fingers over the buttons, because he couldn’t just tear them down. He had to give them some hope, a glimpse of potential he couldn’t see and he wasn’t even aware it existed. Each of them disgusted him, but he was specifically asked to be entertaining and not a killer with his words.

So he kept swiping up videos and photos of these artists, trying to find one thing, one holy grail to get attached to and finally write one good optimistic line in the middle of the words he had to pull up to keep a moderate tone.

He rubbed his temple running over his hairline, which by the way was perfectly fine, before his hand reached down and he touched his t-shirt pulling on the neckline to gather some air, he was wearing his pyjama still, white stained shirt on blue tartan pants. He raised up the shirt and bowed his head down giving in a long inhale from the inside and just cringed to himself.

He looked around as he couldn’t stand up, if he did then he will get only more distracted and these articles needed to be ready for tomorrow.

He noticed the spray against the mosquitos on the floor, those little bastards always hiding under his desk to bite his ankles, he picked it up and sprayed it over himself like it was perfume hoping to ignore the need of a shower for few more hours.

His eyes scanned the small studio flat he was living now: the dishes sticking out of the sink, the noisy fridge buzzing. The one table that was also his work desk filled with used mugs, stained plates covered in cigarettes and leftovers, empty packages of his favourite brand discarded everywhere: from the bathroom up to the couch and to the small bed he owned. Damn, if he run out of cigarette it will be hard to ignore how he also run out of food.

The space was dark and gloomy, some of his stuff still packed up, the fake pop art panting of him and Elke staring at him reminding him of his other loss.

He didn’t touch the bed in days, he just slept on the seat or on the couch.

His attention was attracted by his phone buzzing.

He sat up straight as it was her, it was Elke.

Did she sense his discomfort? 

“Elke” he picked up the call in a second.

“Wow, a quick answer, did you have your phone already in your hand or it happens just so late at night?”

Her sarcasm did’t go past him, but he just thought how long it was since he heard a human voice and not the recording of some idiot calling himself artist.

“No, I was thinking of you”

“Yes, sure, look I have sent you an email with the bills of the time you were here, the ones you have left to pay and it is only fair that you pay at least half of them”

“Sure” he just said it because he wanted to go past the point of money, he wanted her back. Maybe he could crush at her place, feel her hands through his hair, shower, sleep some good sleep and the articles will come around in few types “Elke, I was thinking we might…”

“I just called you for the bills”

“I know, but maybe we could have” his eyes darted at the top right of his laptop screen to see the time “a drink together?”

She huffed a laughter as he frowned lightly “I know you Seb, if it is money or sex what you’re looking for that door is closed and it has been for a long time”

“I know” he murmured as he let out a breathy sigh, a dooming sense of loneliness creeping over him like a giant spider ready to wrap him up and eat him “I just hoped…”

“Don’t hope Sebastian, you’re already an hopeless cause”

She hung up on him and he was left there, he kept that same pose with his phone against his ear. His eyes trailing once again over the empty page of his document on the screen, on the chaos surrounding him.

He nibbled on his bottom lip before running his tongue over the pained area.

He pushed the phone back down on the table with a tremble of his jaw and a shaky hand.

She was right.

What he did of his life anyway? He lost most of his occasions in life, he was now in his thirties and he concluded nothing of what he hoped to be, he failed in all the departments both as an artist and as a critic.

A jack of all trades is a master of none, and maybe only the first type of the famous quote could be applied to him.

He couldn’t even take the trash out or he couldn’t remember the last time he ate something that was vaguely resembling of fruits or vegetables. It is all good when you imagine yourself as a bohemian rooting against the world, when you convince yourself that’s only the proof you needed to know you are fighting well against a system of art that privileges banality and marketing over real artistic value and that, one day, all your struggles will be worth it.

Even Picasso was poor for a long time in Paris.

Damn, maybe to be in a situation like this in Paris would sound more romantic.

But the truth was: he never imagined to have to do it alone, that life would feel so overwhelming, that there wouldn’t be anything but extreme struggle, anger, loneliness and a terrible diet.

For a moment he wished to be a baby again, to be the bright boy he was and let mommy take care of his needs and his dirty shirt and empty stomach. He wished that maybe somebody noticed him before, that somebody saw his talent and helped him to pull it out instead of leaving him to do it on his own only to come late to every step.

And now it is too late, he is lost in the sea of terrible paid jobs and anguishing relationships, let’s not forget maybe he indeed had a receding hairline and he was doomed to get bold .

He squeezed his eyes as a soft sob took over his lip, hand running over his forehead as he pulled on his hair justifying his tears with some physical pain. He shook his head as he tried to gain back some composure, hand flung over to pick up his coffee mug and giving in a long gulp of the coffee, the same one he swore before to not touch again, only to almost choke on it, couching it out only to pick up the bottom hem of his shirt to clean his laptop screen.

He fucking hated to write on a computer, the old typewriters inspired him but that damn ink was too expensive now for his sore pockets.

He smirked to himself as he kept doing it, finding good excuses to call himself off any responsibility. But maybe Elke was right, well she surely was, she had two degrees, maybe he was really a lot cause. He frowned as he wiped slowly the screen with his already stained shirt, the wetness sticking then against his skin as soon as he let it go giving him another shiver.

He didn’t have even the strength to cry, he could only accept it was over.

The curse that he shouted out loud when he heard knocking at the door, smashing him out of his thought spiral, generated an immediate anger reaction from him.

“Fuck, shit, if it is the fucking neighbour, I swear I will kill her cat or that rat she has as cat, fucking hell”

He grumbled as he stood up moving across the table not caring about his state, he only wanted to crawl back into a ball and maybe nuzzle a bit somewhere.

When his death glare appeared after the door opened in a powerful swing his eyebrows lifted immediately finding you on the other side.

He blinked, one of those sleepy blinks where somebody closes his eyes and then opens them really wide to make sure it is not made up in their brain, that one.

His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you 

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“You should wash your mouth with holy water Sebastian” you said shaking your head raising your arms to show him some paper bags “I am bringing food and body shower”

He shook his head “Are you calling me stinky?”

“I am” You quickly replied moving past him into his place ignoring his groan.

He stood by the door slowly closing it, he was sure that old bitch was looking through her peephole, only then he stared at you try to make your way into the filthy kitchen. He was really embarrassed about his antics, but surely this time he exceeded some record.

“I am speechless Seb, I helped you with the moving and this place seems to have taken over you” you said as you knew he was in some rut when he kept such a long phone silence.

He was usually always texting, sending memes or one sentence texts.

You cared about him, deeply, you knew he was full of flaws and little quirks, but that’s what made him special. Nevertheless, you were worried about the state of the place, how it showed the way he let himself get dragged through the days. So he observed you, better to say, your back, the way you moved around opening the window to let fresh air inside, turning on a lamp to make some light that wasn’t just the blue one of the screen. Pulling out commodities and food from your magic bags like some sort of Mary Poppins of struggling writers. How you poured soap in the dirty load of dishes and pans, the way you marched securely to his desk to pick up that filthy mug and you frowned just sniffing at it.

“Is that poison?”

“Rat poison” he corrected you.

You shook your head as you cleaned a glass and filled it with water and among the groceries you pulled out a banana.

“Have this now, it will help” you said and he took the glass with one hand and the banana with the other like his brain was shut down.

He stared at you as you leaned your head slightly on side, he went through bad times after the break up but you had never seen him in such a helpless state.

He was chaotic but he always loved to keep up his appearance, to give that handsome and damned kind of vibe.

“Sebastian” you called him as his eyes spaced out and now where back on you “Are you alright?”

He observed you, he stared at your face like he was trying to recognise you, truth it was he kept pushing himself to say yes, say yes, say it is all good, make a joke, a remark, keep it up. You don’t need his burden, you don’t need to hate him like Elke and others do.

Just say yes.

“No” he said as his lips trembled and you watched his ironic mask fall right in front of you as he looked away hiding his tears, real tears, not the ones he can play out whenever he needs.

Just as quickly as you gave him the banana and the water you took them off his hands afraid he might hurt himself by dropping the glass in particular.

"Seb" you called his attention as he sobbed moving like a bird trying to hide his face against his own shoulder.

You took his now empty hands dragging him toward the couch and kicking off the pile of dirty clothes and discarded books on top of it to make him sit down with you.

"Talk to me"

He didn't, the man that was never out of words, even in the times he should have been, was now silent as a tombstone staring away from you as you gave a gentle squeeze to his hands. It pained you to see him in such a state.

So weak, so helpless like a lost child.

"I can't help you if you don't talk"

Sebastian shook his head still staring at the wall.

"You can't help me"

"Is it about writing? I can proof read you, it will be a moment"

He shook his head again making, hair bouncing from side to side.

"No, it is not important if I write or not"

You frowned at that comment.

"What the hell?" you just blurted out "Seb you're a talented writer, you're passionate, funny, witty, why shouldn't it be important?"

He looked up at you shaking his head "I can't write, I can't put together two sentences"

Your eyes travelled onto his side profile, truth to be told he looked worn out but he was still handsome like only Sebastian Zöllner could be. He had that chaotic charm, even with a wrinkled suit he was fearless, strong, poignant. You couldn't avoid him, he owned every place he stepped in and you could feel his gaze run through your bloodstream.

When he asks a question, he meant it, it was a test run into your bones and you loved every second of it.

His lips tightened as he diverted his gaze finally to you. You knew his relationship with Elke was important, he cared about others even if he didn't show it daily like most people do.

"Is it Elke?"

"No, she was just right"

"About what?"

He gulped, his throat dry as he pulled his bottom lip in his mouth grinding his teeth over it like playing something through that gesture.

"About me"

"Breakups are always shit, don't you even.."

"No Y/N" he interrupted you, he was serious, maybe his voice trembled but he wasn't lying or playing some role "I am really a lost cause, I mean look at his place"

His hand waved around the small flat like a drunk orchestra director.

"It is pure trash, I haven't finished unpacking, I didn't have food until you came, I am unable to look after myself, to look after the people that I care about. I worked so hard to be an artist and then I became a critic and now I am so knee deep into my own shit that I have more debts than entries, more failures than successes, more haters than friends"

He gulped down, the waterline of his eyes dangerously red and he sniffled up as he let out a little weak whisper "I just wish I could disappear"

"No"

It came out of you like a lighting bolt, it surged out of you before you could even elaborate. Like an order. A command.

"Seb, you're now in a rough patch of life, but you have always worked hard and well as a writer"

"I am a writer because I failed as an artist"

"You're a writer because you know of what you're talking about, because you're able to see the difference between marketing and passion, between hard work and laziness, because you respect that profession and it makes you the best critic"

"I just want to destroy them all because I am envious, Elke always said I am fuelled by my own envy”

"I have read pieces of yours only encouraging the rightful and bringing down the real frauds"

He shook his head as he was just fixating on the wrong, on the flaws, on the problems.

You huffed cupping his cheeks to force him to look at your eyes.

"Look at me" you said not admitting replies "you are talented in what you do, you are one of the best in your field and you're not on some big magazine only because they know they will have to put up with your shit: with the fact you always meet the people, you look at art pieces in presence, you touch them, you research the colours, you scrutinise everything to the bone"

He took your hands hating to be held like that but he squeezed them in his owns.

"And yes, you're allergic to ironing clothes and washing dishes is your personal nightmare, and yes, you give out many temper tantrums and have a terribly dark sense of humour, you are a failure at time and money management, you love filthy rich stuff and smoke like your life depends on it"

He stared at you, he listened quietly as you knew him from so long and many people, Elke included, wondered what you gained from helping him or just being around him that much. He often teased his ex about being jealous of you and she always said that it was like being jealous of a mortgage.

"So you agree?"

 "I agree to say you are flawed like all of us, that you are just the perfect balance to your writing, you're what you write. You're passionate, you give out the two hundred percent of what you can give, you are like this, you go all-in in everything you do, there's no compromise, no mid way, no foreseeable change of direction, you speed up into the darkness and don't look back. You are bold, you take risks, you let people hate you because you do not compromise with who is son of who or who is the director of what gallery, you judge people over their real qualities. Because you talk to them in their face, because you don't hide that yes, you want to be great, because you're handsome and charming and smart, nobody can outsmart you in your field, not even that idiot you hate that much"

"Golo Fucking Moser" he murmured

"Golo Fucking Moser" you repeated with a chuckle "you don't have anything to envy to him beside the bruises he probably has on his knees for bending down to anyone"

He chuckled at that comment.

"And also, you're more attractive, that pisses off Seb, it is unfair to the poor man”

He leaned his head on side as you wouldn't normally shower him in compliments, he had enough ego for that, but you had never seen him like this and you wished to never see him again in such a state.

"You find me attractive?"

"Well for sure you're an eye candy" you joked

"I mean it"

You rolled your eyes blushing a bit and huffing a chuckle "I do, alight? It is universal knowledge"

He looked at you as he still held your hands in his, his thumbs making soft shapes over the back of your hand.

"That I am attractive or that you find me attractive?"

You groaned looking away with an embarrassed giggle “okay, okay, I see you're back in yourself, let's eat now"

You moved to stand up but he didn't do the same remaining sat in his spot.

"Tell me"

"I pumped your self esteem enough, now let me go"

He chuckled softly, he never really thought you'd be interested. He usually shows off so many bad traits that he has to tone himself down and really try hard to attract someone. It is all an effort on his part to appear better or at least less quirky.

And then now look at you, appreciating even his shit show.

"Y/N" he murmured giving you a soft squeeze. You kept silent not daring now to meet his gaze. He bowed his head trying to reach for your eyes with his gaze and he looked up at you, a smile that wasn't provocative over his lips.

You pulled back yanking your wrists off his grip to move straight into the kitchen corner.

You begun pulling ut some fresh vegetables and bread, you also got some cheese knowing he loves it, wanting him to have a good dinner.

He followed you almost immediately and soon you found his arms grasping you once more in a hug, his chest pressed against your back, his forehead on your shoulder.

"Seb, you..."

"I know, I stink, just give me a moment" he said and you obliged him gently caressing his arms around you.

You hated to be in the friend zone, but you wouldn't be able to survive to lose him forever or to have him joke about it.

Now he was quiet, tender like a hurt pup.

"Thank you, you know you can count on me too, right? For anything” he said and you chuckled softly “I know, you’re my favourite avenger”

He nodded brushing his crisp beard against your cheek and after few minutes stuck in that hug he dropped a kiss on your neck "love you”

He pulled back giving you a smile as he picked the shower gel you left on the counter bringing it with himself to the bathroom with a soft hum.

You smiled a bit bitterly to yourself as you guessed it was meant in a friendly way, but today it was alright. You could endure it. Also that kiss, he always did it when he was drunk, at parties or in the taxi back home after a viewing. It was his cuddly way to say things without saying them, without rambling, and you appreciated that silent language. 

Maybe now he was drunk over his own feelings.

Just like you.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief @thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams @charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme  @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl @obsidianlaszlo @alindeluce @zemosimp05 @baronesszemo-blackwood @nocapesdahling @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @archangelproperty

[troublesomeshika]

After all this time, I'm still into you (3)

shikamaru nara x reader word count: 4.7k warnings: swearing, anti-kiba, fluff

You woke up groggily, the events of the day before coming back to you in pieces as you solved the puzzle. Something fluttered in your stomach but you pushed it down. Looking at the clock you saw it showed 10:07. If you were going to get your errands done, you needed to be out of bed thirty minutes ago at the latest. You threw the covers off, stretching as you stood. First things first: laundry. You threw your clothes from the night before into your hamper, grabbing the few stragglers that lay around the room to be sure they made it in. Quickly throwing on an outfit, you grabbed the hamper and walked it down to the washing room. After you’d finished and hung up your clothes to dry, it was almost noon. You glanced at your pantry, seeing the dust that had begun collecting on some of the shelves and groaned. You needed to hand in your fixed report so groceries would just have to wait until later tonight.

You were jogging, it had taken longer than you’d expected to hand everything in and it was already past twelve. You came to a halt a block from Ichiraku and tried to steady your breathing. Looking down, you smoothed out your shirt and ran your hands over your hair before shaking your head. You were having lunch with a friend, you didn’t need to look perfect. Shaking your head, you looked up to see Shikamaru standing outside the ramen shop with an eyebrow raised. 

“How are you always late to everything?” he chided as you walked up and ducked beneath the pulled back curtain into the small booth. 

“Sorry, sorry, errands took longer than I thought.” You smiled at Teuchi behind the counter as you took a seat near the wall. Shikamaru sat next to you, your elbows bumping together in the small area. You willed your stomach not to flip at such a small thing, reminding yourself, once more, that you were friends, best friends.

“So, they took it with your corrections and everything?” Shikamaru looked up from the menu.

“Hm? Oh yeah, I got chewed out for making the mistake even though they already yelled at me for it when they first gave it back, but it’s whatever.”

He chuckled, “Maybe you’ll do it correctly next time.”

You slapped his arm, looking down at the menu to decide what you wanted. Once the two of you ordered, you turned to him. “So what have you done today? Been at all productive, or no?” 

He glared at you, “I’ll have you know that I woke up early and went to training with Ino and Choji, so no comments on my laziness. I’ve earned the rest of the day off.” 

“Oh so one morning training session earns you a half day off? Guess I should have at least 2 years of vacation stored up then.”

“Uh, yeah. And yet you’d never take any unless I made you. But don’t worry, I’m a giver.” He smirked at the last part.

You rolled your eyes, “Oh yes, it must be so hard, but thank god you make the sacrifice.” Your voice dripped with sarcasm.

He shrugged, “It’s my duty, otherwise I’d be hard at work right now.” That made you laugh out loud, something about the idea of Shikamaru working hard was unimaginable. “Hey, woah it’s not that funny, I do work hard sometimes.” That only made you snort.

“Mhmm yeah, you. Shikamaru Nara. Working hard at something? That’d be a site to s-”

“Y/N?” You heard a voice behind you, which made you turn your head. 

“Oh, uh hey Kiba.” You smiled and brought a finger to your face, trying to quickly wipe the small tears at the corner of your eye.

He only glowered in response, looking between you and Shikamaru. “Already moved on, huh?” 

Your brow furrowed, “What?” You glanced at Shikamaru whose face showed no emotion.

“I saw the way you used to look at him, you’re doing it now. I knew you had feelings for him the whole time.” 

“Woah woah, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He scoffed in response.

“Hey, I’m trying to have lunch with my friend, so you can kindly fuck off if you’re gonna be weird about it.” You started to turn back around before he piped up again.

“So were you fucking him behind my back or is this a new development?” he sneered, “I should’ve known when you said it just wasn’t working between us, can’t expect you to slow down, right?” 

You felt like the air had been knocked out of you. “Excuse me?” You stood, raising an eyebrow at the boy in front of you, “I didn’t do what you’re accusing me of, but if you wanna do this in public, let’s do it,” Your smile was icy- you loved him, how could he ever accuse you of something like this? 

“No,” he shook his head. “I’ve had enough of this, Y/N.” 

“Enough of what?” Shikamaru’s drawl came from behind you, “Kiba, stop spouting off.” 

“You shut your mouth!” Kiba exploded.

“You’re the one accusing people here!!” You yelled at him. 

“Yeah because you’re the one on a date weeks after breaking up with me and acting all heartbroken.”

“So what if she’s on a date, Kiba, you don’t own the girl.”

“This isn’t a date and Shikamaru, stay the fuck out of this.” You gritted your teeth. The last thing you needed was another person involved in whatever this was.

“God, the two of you are so troublesome, you’re drawing a crowd. Kiba, just leave, you’re not going to accomplish anything here.”

The boy practically snarled at the two of you, baring his teeth before turning on his heel to stalk off. You were breathing heavy, fists clenched when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Rounding on Shikamaru you spat at him, “Why did you butt in? I didn’t ask you to say anything, now he’s definitely going to think I cheated on him. God!” You brought your hand to your forehead and squeezed hard.

“Hey, just.... sit back down. C’mon.” He guided you to your stool as you felt the lump in your throat that had been threatening to form.

“Why did he have to do that in public.... Now everyone will think I’m a cheater.” You stared at the counter in front of you. 

“It’s Kiba, what could you expect? He’s a hotheaded idiot, I still can’t believe you even gave him the time of day, let alone dated him.”

“Really not the time, Shikamaru.” You pressed your fingers to your temples, “I didn’t need this today.” Your nerves were so shot that when Ayame placed your order in front of you, you jumped.

“Honestly, I really don’t think anyone is gonna think that.” His hand rested on your back now, but you were too preoccupied to think about it.

“God, I just, the worst part is that I still love him so much? Why would he....” tears reappeared at the corners of your eyes, this time stinging with anger and pain.

“Hey, look at me.” You continued staring at the bowl in front of you, afraid that if you moved, your composure would break and you’d be reduced to crying in public. “Y/N, I need you to look at me, right now.” Shikamaru’s voice was firm and unwavering, but you could only shake your head softly. You sensed him stand up beside you before he turned your body and enveloped you in a hug. Your face hidden, tears spilled quickly onto his shirt, it was short but needed. You clenched your fist, digging your nails into your palm to ground you before taking a deep breath and untangling yourself from Shikamaru. When you looked up, his cheeks were flushed, likely from secondhand embarrassment. 

You smiled sheepishly, “Sorry about that, didn’t mean to fall apart on you!” you wiped your face quickly, turning to your bowl of food, “Better eat before it gets cold!” You forced an upbeat tone into your voice, trying to hide how you felt. Shikamaru sat down beside you and you felt his gaze still on you. “I’m okay, really, I just.... Having a bad day I guess.” You took a bite of your food and swallowed it, willing the lump in your throat to disappear. “Anyways, I overheard that your team is being sent out on a mission soon, do you know what it’s for?” Looking up, his eyes were studying you, picking you apart as only he could. 

He turned to his own food, picking up noodles on his chopsticks before replying, “I think it’s something about retrieving some stolen information, but I’m not sure. I didn’t really read the message they sent me, just looked at when we’re leaving.” 

“Which is?” You took another bite, beginning to realize how hungry you were.

“Tomorrow morning.” He took a bite and your eyes lingered on his lips a second longer than a friend’s eyes should. 

“Oh, so you probably need to get ready, I guess just lunch for today then.”

“Tch, you’re not getting out of it that easily. Especially after what just happened.”

You rolled your eyes, taking another bite before replying, “Please, it was a momentary lapse for me, I’m really alright and if you need to cut out to prepare, I can just take a rain check.”

He shook his head. “You trying to weasel out of this is tiring and it’s making me need the time off even more.”

You sighed, “Fine fine,” you held up your hands, finished with your meal, “lemme know when you’re ready to go.”

He looked up, mildly shocked, “You’re already done?”

Shrugging you grinned at him, “Need the fuel to keep me energized.”

He simply sighed and began eating faster. You took the opportunity to ask Ayame for the bill. By the time you’d paid, Shikamaru had finished his own serving and was standing waiting for you. “Ready?” you asked. He nodded and the two of you began walking. You talked to Shikamaru, going on about something Ino had said recently, not really paying much attention to where you were going. This made it all the more surprising when you looked around and realized you were in the woods, surrounded by trees. “Shikamaru? Where are we?” 

He chuckled, “Took you long enough to realize.”

Your heart was pounding as you realized you must be in the Nara woods. “Hey uh, I’m not gonna get trampled and beaten up by your deer right?”

“As long as you don’t annoy me, no. You’re here with me, they won’t bother you.” You couldn’t help but glance around the trees, noticing the eyes that blended in with the scenery. You shifted closer to Shikamaru as you walked, feeling the deer watch you. You felt bad as you bumped against his arm for the fourth time, hearing him sigh. Suddenly there was a weight on your shoulder and you were pulled to the side. “There. Will you calm down now? It’s clear you’re not a threat, they just watch everyone, it’s their thing.”

You nodded in reply, but your heart rate had only sped up now that his arm was around you. Thankfully you came to a clearing of soft grass where the sun shone perfectly. You couldn’t help the soft gasp that fell from your lips as you stepped into the area.

Shikamaru chuckled beside you, “Yeah, this is my secret spot.”

You thwaked his side softly with your arm, “Shikamaru Nara. I cannot believe you never showed me this!” 

“Well then it wouldn’t have been secret now would it?” he grinned at you, but you were busy staring around the clearing.

“It’s so beautiful,” you breathed out. 

“Yeah....”

You crouched down, running your hands through the soft grass before stretching yourself out. “Well? If we’re gonna relax, let’s relax.” 

He chuckled, looking down at you, “Alright fine, but I brought you here to make sure you’d relax, so no fidgeting.” He laid down perpendicular to you, resting his head on your thighs. Feeling your heart rate spike again, you shifted and put one arm behind your head. Your foot was still bouncing softly until Shikamaru reached out and grabbed it. “Stop fidgeting,” 

You blushed, “Sorry, I didn’t realize.” He sighed in response and your hand one made its way down to his hair. You had to continue moving somehow, this was the least offensive option. Before touching his hair you made sure to ask, “You okay with this?” When he hummed in response, you began to slowly fiddle with his hair, making sure not to pull on it. It was nice, you hadn’t done this in years, but it felt natural. The sun on your skin warmed your entire body and the grass was softer than any you’d felt. There was a soft breeze that carried some kind of floral scent and the clouds were floating by serenely above. You felt more relaxed than you had in years, and as your mind drifted you felt the urge to tell Shikamaru how you felt. He had a right to know, and you had a right to make your feelings known. You knew he didn’t feel the same, and you’d made your peace with that. “Shikamaru?” 

“Mm?” he hummed quietly in response.

“You ever think about how insignificant we are in the world?”

He snorted, “Y/N what are you on?”

“I don’t quite know,” you watched the clouds drift by above, “I think I just wanna talk to you,” you wove a few strands of his hair carefully through your fingers.

“As long as I don’t have to respond,” you tugged lightly on his hair in response.

“So you don’t mind if I just talk mindlessly to you?”

“No, I don’t mind Y/N. Feel free to babble about whatever you’d like.”

You smiled at his word choice, “Okay, well I feel like I owe you the truth especially after earlier today,” He only sighed, waiting for you to continue. “What Kiba said wasn’t actually that crazy, I realized last night that....” you paused, taking a deep breath, “I have feelings for you and they aren’t friend feelings,” you rushed your next words, making sure to get them out before he could reply, “I tried to get over it, but.... I’m still into you.” You stared straight up, focusing on a misshapen cloud that was floating lazily overhead.

“Is that all?” Shikamaru’s voice sounded mildly amused.

“Yeah, just.... thought I’d tell you,” you felt more comfortable, especially since he hadn’t sat up or pulled away. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of not hiding anything.

“Well, I guess you ought to know that I feel the same.” His voice didn’t change at all and he sounded almost bored.

Your heart stopped and your eyes snapped open, but you didn’t move. “You.... do?”

“Mhm.”

“Oh, okay.” you paused, unsure of what to do next. You felt Shikamaru shift and you sat up. You looked into his eyes, noticing his slight smirk as you waited for his next move.

His hand was resting on your thigh and he looked down at it before speaking, “I guess the next thing is for me to ask you out,” his thumb traced soft circles across your leg, “what a drag.”

“Well seeing as I confessed, shouldn’t I be the one to ask you out?” You raised an eyebrow, grinning at him. “So Shikamaru,” he shook his head, chuckling as you continued, “will you go out with me?”

He looked up and grinned, “I’d love to.”

Your heart swelled as you reached out and cupped his face, softly stroking his cheek. You sighed, “Maybe it’s too early, but.... I think I love you Shikamaru Nara.”

A blush covered his usually reserved features as he shifted to hide his face against your stomach, “Troublesome woman,” You laughed and tangled your fingers in his hair as you laid back again. “I think I love you too.” he murmured softly into your skin. The smile on your face wouldn’t go away as you closed your eyes, relishing in the feeling of happiness that washed over you.

“So does this mean you’ll start paying for meals?”

“Not if you keep losing, our rule still stands.”

You hummed, softly running your hands through his hair. “Mm fine. When’s our next rematch then? I need to know so I can get your dad to teach me.”

His head appeared above you, his ponytail messy from your fingers, “You wanna come over tonight?”

You smiled at his eagerness, “Shikamaru, I don’t think your mom would take kindly to me bumming two meals in a row off you guys.” You reached up, caressing his face.

He leaned into your hand and smirked, “Please, you know she loves you, more than me.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Maybe it’s because I don’t lay around her house and mutter things under my breath when she asks for help.”

“You’re so rude,” He frowned, “maybe I won’t go out with you.”

You pulled his head to your shoulder, “Then I’ll just have to pester you until you do.”

“You would wouldn’t you,” he melted into you and you smiled at his weight on your body.

“Mhmm. If I have to come throw rocks at your window every night, I will.” You pressed a soft kiss on the side of his head. “If that’s what it will take, then that’s just what I’ll have to do. But it would be so very troublesome,” you threw his favorite phrase back at him to which he only huffed, “so please don’t make me.”

“Fine. But come over tonight?” He murmured into your ear, his hot breath making goosebumps run their way down your body.

You twirled the short hair at the nape of his neck as you thought about it, “Alright, I guess you’ve convinced me.”

He shifted and pressed a small kiss to your cheek. “Whoever thought I’d be the one having to force you to do things?”

“Quite a change of pace hmm?”

He rolled onto his back and pulled your body close to his, “Well then, I’ll have to make sure to beat you next time we compete so we can balance things out again.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” You nuzzled into his chest, and everything felt right. Breathing in his soft and familiar smell, you felt yourself drifting in the afternoon sun. The next thing you knew, soft kisses were being pressed against your head as you heard Shikamaru murmuring your name. Your eyelids fluttered open and you tilted your head to look up at him. A drowsy smile adorned his lips which you mirrored.

“Hi,” he breathed out.

You laughed softly, “Hi,” you felt like a schoolgirl again, shy and soft.

“How was your nap?”

“Wonderful, you make a great pillow.” You both sat up. Shifting to straddle him, you threw your arms around his shoulders. The sun was setting and it was catching on his hair just perfectly. You leaned forward and pressed your forehead to his, taking a deep breath. “I think this is the happiest I’ve been in awhile.”

“Oh really? All because of me?” His lips were tilted up in a cocky smirk.

You leaned forward slowly, lips barely brushing his and breathed out, “All because of you.” before pushing your lips against his. The way you two moved against each other was natural. You felt his hands grip your hips as you pulled away for air. A soft breeze blew past, alerting you to how flushed your face was as the cool air hit your cheeks. You leaned your head back to look up at the sky, noticing the stars beginning to shine above. “We should probably get back, seems our day off has ended.”

Shikamaru sighed, tugging you closer to him, “What a drag, how about five more minutes?”

You smiled, and tapped his nose with your finger, “C’mon lazy, let’s go.” You stood and held your hands out to him. He took them and you pulled him up, lingering there, fingers tangled together before you began pulling him back towards the village.

“That’s the wrong way, genius.” He laughed and pulled you the other way and you smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry, guess you just make my head spin so much I don’t know which ways which.”

He groaned, “Please tell me that’s the only dumb line you’re gonna use.”

“Well, I got lost in your eyes, but since you know where you’re going I’ll just follow your lead.” You were grinning up at him, a shit eating grin plastered across your face. You opened your mouth, about to continue, but he cut you off quickly with a kiss.

“Dork,” he muttered, throwing an arm around your shoulder. You began walking back the way you’d come, offering up different terrible pick up lines whenever they came to you. By the time you came to the road you were sure he was questioning his earlier decision of saying yes to you, the only thing betraying otherwise was the slight upturn of the corner of his mouth. You turned towards his house, seeing the lights on, and you were struck by how much had changed in 24 hours. It felt crazy, but it also felt right. Shikamaru groaned beside you, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“You okay?”

“I just don’t wanna have to tell my parents about us, my mom’s gonna be insufferable about it.”

You stopped walking, “Well, I don’t have to come over, really it’s fine. We spent the whole day together.”

“No no,” he pressed his forehead to yours, “I want you to come over.”

“Okay well then we don’t have to tell your parents about us.”

He shifted from foot to foot, clearly thinking, “Hmm, I guess so.”

You laughed and pushed him away, “Then we’re back to platonic for tonight.”

“One more kiss? Just to tide me over.” He raised an eyebrow.

You rolled your eyes, unable to stop yourself from smiling at the request, “Hmm, I guess so.” You mocked him as he stepped closer and tilted your head up with his index finger, kissing you soft and slow.

He pulled away, dropping his hand from your chin, “Ready for another friendly dinner? Emphasis on the friend part.”

“I am, let’s go,” you both walked up to his front door and he opened it for you, the smell of mackerel wafting out the door, “You just keep winning today huh?” You glanced at him, knowing how much he loved the food, but he only grinned in response.

You walked in and were greeted by Yoshino who was visibly surprised to see you. “Oh, Y/N, Shikamaru didn’t tell me we were expecting you back again tonight!”

You blushed, embarrassed, “I’m sorry for the intrusion ma’am. I don’t have to stay for dinner, it's not a big deal!” You turned to Shikamaru ready to bid him goodbye but he didn’t look at you.

“It’s fine, I’m sure we have enough for you, right mom?”

“Yes, of course! That’s not at all what I meant!” Yoshino rushed to assure you, “I was just surprised is all. Well, Shikamaru come and help me serve the food, your dad is just getting changed out of his work clothes. Feel free to sit down, Y/N.” Shikamaru smiled at you, touching the small of your back softly before continuing through to the kitchen. You walked over to the shogi board that was still out, observing the game that was leftover from the night before, the one that had led to lunch this afternoon, where you’d seen Kiba.... had it really been this afternoon that that had happened? You still felt terrible about it, but the sound of Shikaku entering the room forced you to push your thoughts aside.

“Ah, Y/N! Back to join us?” 

You smiled and nodded, “Yes sir, also, real quick, I was wondering, do you think you could tell me why I lost this game last night?”

He grinned, “Ah, want to know what you should’ve done to beat him?”

“Yes sir.” You took a seat where Shikamaru had sat and Shikaku took your position.

“Well, it looks like when you moved your lance, you left yourself open to attack, and from there you were bound to end up in checkmate. You should have left your lance where it was,” he began explaining how you should’ve gone about capturing Shikamaru’s pieces. You tried to pay attention, you really did, but shogi was just so boring and so much had happened that your mind began wandering on its own. “And then he would’ve been stuck in checkmate and you would’ve won.” Shikaku finished his explanation looking up at you.

You looked up and nodded, “I’ll be honest I don’t know if I got all that but I think some of it stuck somewhere in my brain so thank you.”

He bobbed his head, frowning, “Well, if you’d like me to train you, you know where to find me, I’m always up to help you beat Shikamaru.” He smiled and stood, “Now, we should probably make our way to dinner before Yoshino gets angry.”

You stood and followed him through to see Shikamaru putting the plates out with a dish towel thrown over his shoulder. He looked so domestic it made you smile. He glanced up at you and you felt your stomach flip as he flashed you a smirk. You sat in the same place you had the night before, and made polite conversation as you ate. The topic of your day came up and you were forced to confess how Shikamaru had forced you to go cloud watching with him.

“Oh, so he roped you into his lazy antics as well?” Yoshino glared at Shikamaru who only shrugged.

You laughed, “Yes, but I think I was in need of a day off so it wasn’t unwelcome.”

“Who isn’t, I could use a day off. How about we go cloud watching, honey?” Shikaku smiled at his wife.

“Hm, I don’t know about cloud watching, but you could stand to take some time off as well.” You admired the way they were so comfortable with each other, going back and forth. Seeing how clearly they loved each other caused you to look fondly across the table at Shikamaru.

Yoshino spoke up, “You know, I was always so sure you two would get together.”

“Mom!”

You flushed bright red and stared down at your food, trying hard to suppress your smile.

Yoshino held her hands up, “I’m only being honest.” Shikamaru groaned and took a bite of his food, his cheeks red like yours, “Some things just make sense and I always thought the two of you were one of those things.”

You laughed awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed when a bird flew in through the open window, saving you from any further conversation. Shikaku stood and retrieved the message from the bird who left the same way it had entered.

“It’s for you, Shikamaru.” He handed the small scroll to him before returning to his seat.

Shikamaru unrolled it and began reading before he sighed, “They moved up the time for the mission, we’re leaving in a few hours, what a drag.”

You all quickly finished your meal, making sure that you helped to clean up before saying goodnight. Shikamaru walked you to the front porch, closing the door behind him. He pulled you in for a hug, arms circling your waist and his head resting on your shoulder as you slowly stroked up and down his back. “Can’t believe we just got together and I have to leave for a mission, how troublesome.” He murmured into your hair.

You laughed, “Well you were fine before we were together, I’m sure you’ll be fine this time as well.” You pulled back and cupped his face, “Just, make sure you come back to me, you know?” You leaned up and kissed him, soft and slow just like he had kissed you earlier.

“Of course,” he kissed your forehead before letting you go. As you walked away, you turned and glanced back. He was leaning against the house watching you, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips and smoke curling around his head. You grinned, shaking your head before you continued on your way, happiness blooming in your chest.

[sebstanseabass]

Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 9

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

CHAPTER NINE

For the first time in your life, you awoke in your own pool of sweat and with the fresh thoughts of Bucky as he managed to scoop you up with his strong lean arms and take you right then and there at the kitchen counter in your wild, vivid memory of dreams.

You blamed Nat for this. If it wasn't for her, you wouldn't even have inappropriate thoughts towards Bucky. Yes, you did notice his strong masculine exterior, jaw sharp as a killer's knife, body as strong as a boulder, and legs that could easily kill but did you have any thoughts on advancing towards him? No, absolutely not. He was Peter's stepbrother for crying out loud. But last night, something changed in the laws of physics. It was as if two resting bodies silently reacted to one another without a sudden force acting upon the two.

That morning, you didn't dare find out if Bucky was still in your apartment. You skipped your morning run and headed up towards the rooftop using the ladder right outside your window with a hot cup of coffee in your hand (which spilled a bit on the way up, by the way) and enjoyed the scent and sight of the dirtier part of New York City -- all its damp, cigarette covered pavements.

For the next few days, you saw no sign of Bucky. He hadn't been in the bar or in your apartment, as much as you wished he would stop by once in a while. But then, you would hear Peter talk to him on the phone every single night.

You never thought Bucky's lack of presence would start to bother you. It wasn't just the feelings of sudden desire you had for him but also the weird time you shared together -- as if you were just old friends catching up. You found it absolutely crazy how a lot of things just happened in the course of a day.

You wanted to ask Peter about Bucky's whereabouts, just a casual slip of "Hey, where's Bucky?" but you never dared to ask. So when Peter blabbed during a movie night that Bucky had been way too busy managing some business meetings, gatherings, and whatnots ever since he got back in the city, you were more than glad.

Nat had been coming to the bar every night ever since Tuesday, picking up extra shifts. She kept badgering you about Bucky this and Bucky that. She was one of the reasons why you couldn't keep Bucky out of your head. Her sudden long shifts at the bar wasn't only because she was so invested with your nonexistent dating life or, to her, a possibility of one with Bucky, but because she and Steve were secretly hooking up. Of course, she didn't tell you that. It's not like she needed to, anyway. It only took one sniff of Steve's strong scent on hers for you to find out.

Every passing day at the bar felt so slow and the same. The only thing that changed was Peter rejecting a drink on one Thursday night.

"Woah, what got your knickers on a twist?" You asked as soon as he approached the counter.

"I'm just not in the mood, y/n." He sighed. "Can I just have a glass of water, please?"

"Of course. Coming right up." You slid the glass of water on the counter towards him, your fingers drumming against the thick wood. "So, what's bothering you?"

He looked up at you with sulky eyes. "Oh god, you really are a bartender."

"And your best friend. So, what's up?"

He shook his head nothing, sipping the glass of water like a scotch.

His little act was unconvincing. Especially that he didn't try hard enough to conceal whatever he was feeling.

"Parker." You insisted. "Come on, what's up?"

"You see right through me, y/n."

"Don't flatter me too much," you rolled your eyes, "you're just easy to read."

But Peter was also stubborn as a bull. He wouldn't budge or give you any clue on what was bothering him. You thought that leaving him as you tended to other bargoers would eventually give him time to change his mind but you were proven wrong. It itched your brain that he wouldn't tell you whatever it was. You usually told each other everything. But then again, you haven't really been open with him with your growing desire for his stepbrother -- which, you hoped you never would, as you hoped all those feelings would eventually go away and keep it in a state of latency.

Peter stood by his ground, consuming no ounce of alcohol and keeping his mouth shut the rest of the night. You knew when to keep away from other people's business, even if it was your best friend's. You did try to make his evening lighter though, checking up on him and telling some old, classic bartender stories, seeing as he was clearly in an uncomfortable state but all he kept telling you was: "You're killing me, y/n. You're absolutely killing me."

You felt a heavy feeling on your chest with his surprisingly fierce tone. You urged him to go home after that, so he did.

"Dick." You mumbled after he left.

Nick walked towards the counter. "What's wrong with your roommate?"

"Wish I could tell you."

You and Nick have been getting along well despite you rejecting him. Nat kept telling you it was a way of manipulating you or some sort, to get you close to him but nothing has really happened ever since he asked you out. There wasn't a change in mood in the atmosphere, or even the way he treated you. Just some good colleagues working together.

The next night, Peter was more in the mood and even apologized to you for the way he behaved last night. "Now, for some great news."

"Does this mean you're having a drink?" You asked.

He nodded eagerly and patiently waited for his beer. Once he got his cold sip, he continued talking: "So, I've been really in a slump lately because I'm kind of lovesick. But then -- "

"Wait, what did you say?" You knitted your brows together, catching the last word he said. "Did you say lovesick? You son of a bitch, are you in love?"

"Language!" Out of nowhere, Steve yelled over the buzzing noises inside the bar. You snickered and he just gave you a look before he disappeared back into his office.

He is such a grandpa.

Peter chuckled. "To be honest, I have been for a very long time."

Your jaw dropped on the floor, ears all perked up, wanting to hear every detail of this. "And you never thought to tell me? Parker, I've been your best friend since forever. Why the hell wouldn't you tell me?"

"Because..." He trailed off, avoiding your stare. "It's not that big a deal."

"Okay, was this after that bitch Denise?"

"Actually, waaaay before that."

"Oh wow, that long, huh?" You replied. "Oh my god, is it someone we know from college? Shit, is it MJ?"

"No, it's not!" He replied. "And I'm not telling you who because I don't have actual plans on pursuing her." He sighed through his nose while taking a big sip of his beer. He brought down the bottle on the counter with a loud thud.

"So, it's a girl."

He grunted in reply.

You laughed. "So, why not pursue her?" You asked while multitasking. You handed a bowl of peanuts to the man beside Peter who was asking for it. "Is she taken? Does she have a boyfriend? A girlfriend?"

"No, she doesn't."

"So, why the hell not, Parker?"

You impatiently waited for an answer from Peter as it took him a couple of minutes to do so.

"Because I don't think it's a good idea. I don't think it will ever work." He answered, scratching the label on his beer bottle with much frustration. "I've thought about all the probabilities, but every single one of them ends the same."

"And what is that?"

"That it won't work out."

The thing about Peter was he never dive into things headfirst. Even though he was a dumbass, he was always a man of intellect who calculated everything in his head before committing to something.

"Why is it always statistics and probabilities and all that crap with you?" You let out an exasperated sigh. "What if for once in your life, follow your goddamn heart? You keep treating everything with a business mind. Go with what your gut tells you to do. Don't think too much about it because the heart wants what it wants, Parker."

Peter gazed at you for a few moments, perhaps finding the right words to say but he just shook his head and fought against his feelings. "I can't do it, y/n. I badly want to, like, it's already at the tip of my tongue. I badly want to tell her but I can't. I don't want to know what's gonna happen next. I'm just scared of what's gonna happen. I don't think I can take it."

As much as you wanted to convince him to go for the girl, you let it go. You've said what you had to say but it was always up to him whether he takes your advice or not. "So, what now?"

"Well now, I'm going to tell you the good news, the one you robbed me off when you batted in."

You rolled your eyes. "What's the good news, Parker?"

"Me and my colleagues will go on a corporate retreat for at least a week!"

You raised an eyebrow, writing a confused expression on your face. "How is this good news?"

"I'll be gone for a week, away from the city, away from my love problems and all that. I think it'll be good for me." Then, a smile started to form on his lips. "There, I'll leave all my worries behind."

"Parker, it's just a one-week corporate retreat, not a sabbatical." You grimaced, unimpressed with the whole thing. "You're not gonna get over this thing in just seven days."

"You don't know that." He scoffed. "I'll be a new man once I get back. You'll see."

"Sure." You replied, a hint of sarcasm laced in your tone.

"Oh, one more thing!"

"What, another corporate retreat?" You snickered, amused with all the clever remarks you were throwing at him. Peter, on the other hand, wasn't.

"No!" He gave you a look. "Bucky will look after you while I'm gone!"

Shock crossed your face. "Bucky?"

"Yes, me."

And on cue, a figure emerged behind Peter.

You were so bewildered with Peter's troubles that you hadn't noticed Bucky creeping up towards the counter. He was wearing what seemed like a navy blue tailored Hugo Boss suit, paired with a nice, sleek tie. His whole fit, illuminated by the iridescent lights made his blue eyes pop even more. Like last time, he opened up a button on his waist, tossed the end flaps in the air and sat down beside Peter on a high stool.

Watching him, you could feel the air around you tighten, paired with a clump of saliva caught in your throat. He placed his elbow on top of the counter and tucked his chin on his palm.

"B-bucky," you finally breathed, silently choking up on your own saliva, "hey, it's been quite some time."

"Hello, doll." The vowels on his words seemed to drop, accompanied by that rhythmic sound he usually does when he speaks. Oh god, one day with Bucky and I've already picked up on that, you thought. "Missed me?"

You felt some blood quickly rushing to your cheeks but you played it cool. "Don't flatter yourself, James." You pretended to get quite busy, wiping some clean glass off the counter then faced Peter. "So, what's this thing about Bucky looking after me?"

"Well, I'll be gone. You'll be alone. Bucky will look after you." Peter tried to "expound." "What's not adding up, y/n?"

You rolled your eyes at the two and scoffed, placing the glass on the counter. "No, thanks. It's just one week. I can take care of myself."

It was true. You once spent a two-week vacation all by yourself to California after high school and you came home in New Jersey without a scratch -- like a brand-new car. You walked around the place as if it was your turf, and blended in with the locals while basked in the glorious heat of the California sun.

"Bucky insisted." Peter chimed in defensively.

"Oh. Bucky insisted." You said, your gaze averting to Bucky's eyes. "Again, I appreciate the offer but I can handle myself. I'm not a baby."

Bucky, clearly amused with the whole situation, leaned back with careful eyes fixed on yours. "Come on, y/n, don't you want some company?"

"Aren't you busy with your company?" You retorted.

"Yes, I have been but not anymore." He replied. "Unless something comes up. A week without Peter must be somewhat lonely. Come on," he insisted once again, "it's also for me. It'll give me something to do for a week."

"Wait, what?"

"You guys could get to know each other better and get along!" Peter blurted. "And without me around, Bucky won't have someone to hangout with. Please, y/n? I'd feel so much better."

"Hang out? What are you guys, like sixteen?"

Your mind was still set on Bucky's last choice of words but you saved it for later.

"Pleaaaaseee?"

You sighed, knowing you could never refuse your best friend's pleas. "Fine."

"Great!"

"Just for the record," you said, holding up a finger, "I'm just agreeing because of Peter, not because I can't take care of myself."

Peter rolled his eyes while pulling out his phone from his pocket. "Yeah, yeah, you're an independent woman. Okay, I gotta take this call. I'll be right back."

And all then there were two: you and Bucky. While making two grasshoppers for a couple of girls who just entered, you could feel Bucky's intense stare towards you. Your mind, clouded with thoughts, wished it could tap into his and take a sly look at what was going on inside.

You locked eyes as soon as you handed the girls their drinks. Bucky wearing such a neat, tailored suit made you forget about all his child-like ways in Peter's countless stories. All you saw was a man favored by all the gods and at the same time sent by the devil to test you in so many ways imaginable. You wondered if he felt the same. Of course, you weren't like him or any other people carved perfectly by the gods, but his vehement stare said otherwise.

"Are you gonna order a drink?" You asked, breaking the silence, and also your train of thoughts.

"No." He replied. "I'm good."

"Okay."

Peter, where the hell are you?

"Hey, y/n?"

"Yes?"

"You look beautiful tonight."

A plain black tank top, paired with some old jeans, minimal makeup and this man just told you that you looked beautiful. "Well not just tonight. You've always been beautiful. I just hope you know that."

"Okay what has gotten into you? You're being... weird."

He shrugged. "I'm just stating facts."

You hummed, a look of confusion spread across your face. "Thank you, I guess. Y-you look good yourself. Very different from when I first met you." You chuckled.

"Well, I was naked the first time we met so yeah."

Peter got back from his phone call and for the whole night, you spent your time working your shift while Bucky and Peter moved on to play some billiards and darts as well. Nat kept shifting her eyes between you and Bucky and you just shrugged her off, flipping your middle finger on her in which she reciprocated.

The next day, Peter was all set for his corporate retreat, surprised he didn't need any help from me at all. You helped him with some of his bags towards the sidewalk ("Jesus, Parker, are you going out of the country?"). While you waited for his Uber to arrive.

"You better take care of yourself, Parker." You said, standing beside him on the side of the street. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Really? I'm gonna miss you too."

"Well, yeah, of course. You're like a little brother to me." You smiled, ruffling his brown locks even though he was taller than you.

He looked down on the pavement with a tight-lipped smile. "Right, right."

Smiling, you grabbed his hand and leaned your head on his surprisingly broad shoulders. "Come on, cheer up. You needed this, right?"

"Yes, I definitely do." He whispered. "More than you know."

A few seconds later, the Uber arrived. Before climbing in the black vehicle, you were pulled into Peter's embrace with a soft, fluttery kiss landing on your forehead. Taken aback, you just smiled at him and watched the car get tinier and tinier as it drove further.

You got back in the apartment and five minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Behind it was a smiling Bucky wearing some casual clothes. "Good morning, doll. Missed me?"

You rolled your eyes letting him inside the apartment. Closing the door behind me, you replied: "You've already used that line last night. Pick another one."

"Aw, you haven't heard the rest of it."

You went to the kitchen, grabbed some water from the fridge, and took a drink. "Which is?"

"Miss me, miss me, now you gotta kiss me."

With unsteady hands, you choked on your water and felt the liquid on your skin as soon as those words left Bucky's mouth. Great now I spilled the drink on my chest.

You turned around only to be faced by Bucky. "Now I gotta what?"

His laughter echoed in the kitchen as he backed away from you. "I'm just messing with you. So, what's for breakfast?"

He left you there standing flabbergasted, with some water dripping down your top and shorts, down to the floor. You bore your eyes into the back of his head as he turned on the television.

Bucky tilted his head towards you, eyed you up and down and finished it with a swipe of his tongue on his lower lip.

Oh, this was going to be a long week.

A long, agonizing week.

[genshin-hours]

Hello dear! May I please have a Hunter and Survivor match-up please? Also if you'd like i'd be more than happy to match you with a hunter and survivor as well! Anyways, I love your blog and your writing! I hope you have a wonderful day/night!

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality Type: ENTP

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Straight (For now might be bi but i'm going with straight)

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. I also have a very strong grunge style, like Flannels, band t-shirts, combat boots, leather jackets etc. But i'd also always enjoy a nice oversized sweatshirt or hoodie with a pair of skinny, ripped jeans and some converses or something along those lines.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends....like i'm the type of person where if someone glares at me, i'll glare right back.

I have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it.Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. Sometimes in the middle of the night you can find me just staring at a wall or something because I can't go to sleep.....I have trouble sleeping.....

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything.

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider.

hello! tysm for requesting, love! and you can of course :) ty for the offer btw, that would be lovely! also I hope you have a wonderful day/night as well <3 hopefully you enjoy all these hcs, dear ♡

I ship you with....

joseph desaulnier

so, I think joseph would really like you :>

joseph is one of the shorter hunters, so you being very small makes him lowkey excited

he loves letting you rest in his lap. he marvels at how small you are and how cute you look!!!

joseph gets the whole resting bitch face thing. he is told quite often that he has a bad case of rbf lmao

he also thinks your hair is really pretty, and if you're alright with it, he will offer to help brush/comb it for you or even style it. he is surprisingly good with hair. his hair isn't just fluffy and silky on its own, you know.

also joseph is pretty good at keeping you from doing like absolutely crazy stuff. he will make sure you don't get hurt, but the second he think you might he's gonna be yelling at you in french to stop or running to try and protect you from falling

and if you do get hurt, he is the first to provide you first aid. the whole time he is blushing and cursing under his breath. he is surprised by how bold and reckless you can be.

he loves your spirit and enthusiasm, but for the love of god, please be more careful

also, joseph loves your dry humor. he laughs at all your jokes. even if you're in matches and he is supposed to be serious

joseph also has a pretty "idgaf" attitude, so you guys will get along well. he is willing to fight for something he believes in too.

joseph isn't the best with emotions either, but this gives you both an opportunity to work together at it.

you both agree to come together and share what you're comfortable with to try and figure things out. tbh he is more likely to provide you with advice rather than consolation.

he thinks your accent is really cute, and teases you for it sometimes. but he actually thinks it's adorable.

also he will help you fall asleep by stroking your hair, reading to you, laying by you, etc. he is very comforting surprisingly

joseph is also probably scared of spiders but he will toughen up to get rid of them if you need him to.

(if the spider is scary enough though, you'll be hearing swearing in french and seeing another hunter coming to deal with it lmao)

I also ship you with luca balsa!

luca and you would be cute together!

he thinks your height is adorable, and he likes how small you are when you stand together

you're not too much shorter than him (only 3 inches or so) but it's really cute to him that he can lift you up and stuff or you can sit in front of him and he can lean on you.

he likes to be alone usually when working, though he wouldn't mind if you were to lay on his bed or sit on his lap while he works, but he needs you to stay safe so you're wearing a heavy coat and safety gear lmao

he thinks your style and rbf are adorable. you're not intimidating to him, so he thinks it's funny

luca also enjoys your humor, and he finds it relatable. he always laughs at your jokes, even if you make them at bad times

luca has similar habits to you though, which makes it easy for him to spot them in you and stop you quickly before things get bad

he himself is pretty reckless at times, but, he will admit, he is a hypocrite and panics when you do something dangerous, but turns around and works with dangerous equipment

you're both not the best with emotions, but he does his best to help you. he might not be the best at consoling you, but he will do what he can to make you feel better in his own way

he might tinker with stuff to improve it for you, or try to give you helpful advice

luca would think horror movies are super neat, but he analyzes them fast, and knows all the twists and turns. he still jumps though

he likes your accent and thinks it's pretty cool! he doesn't hear many southern accents, so he finds yours very neat and soothing to listen to

luca will take the time to help you fall asleep if you can't. he has some trouble falling asleep too, so don't be surprised if he accidentally passes out on top of you once you're asleep.

he isn't a fan of lightning and thunder, but some gentle rain and pretty clouds are lovely in his opinion :)

luca is also an entp, so you two would have plenty of lively debates lmao

[jaeminscoffee]

Let me in. (m.)

Pairing- Lee Donghyuck x reader

Genre- Fluff, Smut, tiny bit of angst..?

Word count- 6.03k (ily I'm sorry oof)

Warning- sexual themes suggested, written horribly, slight corruption kink, bestfriend!haechan, slight possessiveness , fingering, praise kink, friends to lovers trope, cliché af. Also definitely not proof read.

Summary- When you let him in, paradise unfolded is an understatement.

(literally the first time i wrote based of a song and it was a really challenging but! fun experience so thank you for requesting this! This also gave me an idea of closing off my previous prompt as starting a song prompt..? )

➳ listen to Ooh La La La by Exo.

When i turn my head

My eyes meet yours

Once again I'm staring at you

That smile is a bit too much for me

It's hard being friends with a girl, so beautiful, so generous and giving and still not having her all for yourself. Or so was how Haechan felt. 

You were so close to him, yet so far. You always looked out for him as though he was your top priority, and that boosted his ego. You were his, to an extent. It's when Haechan thought it'd be the best to have you come over to the party his frat's throwing, wanting you to loosen up a little, he couldn't hold himself back. 

After the last bell to class rang, Haechan immediately started packing his bag, remembering Mark, his other half as you exclaimed had warned him not to be even a second late, saying something along the lines of 'apparently Johnny won't DJ for us unless we actually give him something materialistic' or something.

You watch with a wide smile, your best friend frantically reaching out under his desk to get out all books only to shove them carelessly into his bag, 

"Calm down, Hyuck. You still have 2 hours to reach there and the frat house' barely half an hour away" Haechan let out a curse having dropped around 3 of his books alongside that one pen he carries around, he turned towards you with his eyebrows furrowed.

Seeing you smile wide at him, laughing even at his misery weirdly had his heart skipping beats. It was a normality now to him. It wouldn't take a genius to guess he's whipped for you, everyone, other than you apparently knew about that. 

Filled with an ease leaving me to burn

I can't breathe when i see your eye smile 

It's like you know that's your charm

"Hey don't smile at me like that! What type of a friend are you even?" Haechan exclaimed dramatically, completely ignoring how his heart had started beating just a little faster, breathing growing just a little frantic, face heating up just a little. 

"What?? I'm not supposed to smile now?" you ask with the same exaggeration, lifting your hands up to hit him softly when he got a hold of your hand, pulling you in for a hug,

"Don't ditch me at the party, I'll be waiting, love you bye!" he said it all in one breath, patting your back, placing a peck on your forehead before leaning down and picking up his  bag before dashing out of the door. 

You stood there still, bringing your palms up to your cheeks to calm the heat down. 

It's the thoughts or prejudice that you had that friends are supposed to stay friends that had you constraining your feelings for the lad. You'd be an idiot to have a whole package of what a good, ideal man is supposed to be like right beside you but still not fall for him. That's impossible even, worse than mission impossible.

"Love you too.." you say out low, mostly to yourself as you give yourself a second to calm down before moving forward to pack your own things up, leaving the classroom as soon as you're done to go set things up before the 'party' tonight. 

It didn't take long for you to decide what to wear. Simple, a skirt and a blouse. They were your usual fit anyway and you didn't like all those jazzy, flashing, revealing clothes people usually wear to parties. A pleated white skirt that fell mid thigh, a black and white striped long sleeve turtleneck shirt which you paired with a silver butterfly pendant, ending it with  black suede boots. 

 Sandra, your neighbor ergo a close acquaintance of yours, offered you a ride to the venue, having her boyfriend DJ there. She informed you how she'd be one of the ones to serve the drinks, adorning a shocked expression when you told her you don't drink. 

"Friend's with Lee Haechan yet you don't drink? No way" the elder exclaimed, you let out a laugh, remembering the last time the said boy had forced a drink down your throat, an action he regrets till date. "He might be a heavy drinker, i think the max i can handle is either a glass of wine or a bottle of breezer, nothing more and nothing less" 

You arrive at the frat house relatively faster than usual, thanks to Sandra's amazing driving skills, but you were immediately abandoned as she spotted her boyfriend, Johnny, in the yet to fill room. No doubts you had arrived early as the boys that you recognize as Felix, Han, Renjun, Jaemin, Jeno, Yangyang, Mark, San, and three others you didn't know quite well off, were arranging the red party cups and bottles on the kitchen counter. 

You scan your eyes all around the room to locate your possible crush, well, best friend in the crowd. Eyes landing at the figure leaning against the wall towards the stairs as he spoke to Hyunjin, a white tee tucked into his usual black knee slit skinny jeans topped with a blue checkered oversized t-shirt which was left unbuttoned made him look absolutely breathtaking. Not to mention, his hair was gelled back, with only a few strands let loose to hover over his forehead. Godly. The only word that could describe him. 

Maybe you might've stood there looking at him for way too long, potentially drooling even because he should've felt your intense gaze upon himself, as he turned his head away from the long haired boy, looking all over the place mimicking your actions from before to spot the gaze, landing upon you. 

Haechan physically shudders, how could one look that flawless? He pats his friend on the shoulder, making his way around him with slow strides towards you. It's hard to keep his feelings intact when you look like that, that ethereal, and his hands to himself. That's a catch. He loved seeing you in your plaid skirts. But he hated that it's not just him who gets to see you like that. Haechan wanted you to dress up for him. Look pretty for him. Be pure for him. Be his. And maybe, just maybe, tonight he'd have enough courage to ask you out. 

Your eyes are whispering to me

It's like they're asking me to approach. 

Intoxicated by his looks, being able to see no one but him, you make your way towards him too, replacing the fangirling face with a smile that he adored oh so much. 

"Hyuck! Hey!" you walk faster stepping out of your daze, pulling him into a hug, before hitting his shoulders slightly, "Next time, learn to pick up your phone" you exclaim, pulling away not too far, having his hands rest on top of your hips as you look into his eyes. Haechan mumbled something incoherent under his breath, shaking his head subtly. "sorry sorry, my phone was in the other room and pretty sure you called me when we were checking the music systems" 

"you're lucky Sandra lives like, right next door. I was actually planning on ditching the party and just binge watch the office" you playfully nag at him, hitting his shoulder this time. You push yourself away from him, involuntarily, wanting to cherish his warmth a little longer, but that'd be sketchy.

"Anyways! How do I look?" you wriggle your eyebrows before doing a twirl, which had your skirt slightly lift up a bit, Haechan visibly gulps, stopping you with your hand, "ugly as usual" he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Seeing your face dim down a bit, he lets out a chuckle, "do you really need me to tell you that you're beautiful, doll?" he pulled you in again, lifting his head up when he heard sounds of gagging, a sign of disgust from somewhere around the pair of you. 

" 'do you really need me to tell you that you're beautiful, doll?' oh cut it out you filth." exclaimed a voice in a distorted manner behind you. You turn around to face a senior of yours, a close friend. "Mark!" you extend your hand out to do your infamous handshake, that lasts at least for over 15 seconds that had Haechan roll his eyes. 

"says the filthiest himself" he let out, making you snort in a not so attractive way. "Hey, at least i'm not the one flirting with my best friend here" Mark pointed out, fingers wrapped around the party cup with god knows what drink. "you flirt with anything breathing" you add, laughing as he sends a wink your way. 

"You look stunning, Y/n" "Now who's flirting huh?" Haechan said, suddenly all up his guard. "woaw, not flirting because someone would whoop my ass later, but stating facts is all i did" Mark smirked, turning back as someone screamed out his name, "well I'll catch up later, gotta blast! Byeee!" he let out hurriedly, making his way towards the back of the house.

"I'll go get us some drinks, cranberry? Or lemon?" he asked, knowing the obvious answer. "Cranberry, duh" you reply with sass to which he let out a loud laugh. 

"You got it"

Maybe you believed that it's time you break your own limits, or maybe you just wanted to seem cool to Donghyuck. Whatever the reason was had you drink more than what your tolerance allowed you to. You felt euphoric and sick at the same time. You weren't completely gone just yet, you were still sober, surprisingly. The actual surprise is that Haechan, the usually 'I'll end all drinkers carrier' type of guy, stopped at just a bottle of beer. 

Reaching out to the glass Renjun held out towards you as an offer, you felt your hands being swatted away, making you flinch slightly. 

"That's enough drinks for her tonight" he said, shoving his friends hand away slightly as you whined. "i can handle a drink more" you reply, reaching out again, "no you can't, and no you won't" he insisted, raising his eyebrows at you in a challenging way, wanting to see if you'll oppose him. 

It might've been the intoxicating liquid in your system at the moment, but staring back at Haechan had the bottom of your stomach churning. You look away with the same speed you initiated the eye contact with. 

"You're not my dad.." you mumble, puckering your lips into a small pout as you hear his friends laugh at your slight quarrel. 

"but i am your boy- best friend. And for a fact, i know you'll fall unconscious if you take another drink" Jaemin starts hooting slowly at Haechan's slight slip up.

"Tsk, whatever" you reply, rebelling against him and taking the bottle out of Renjun's hand as he stared at you, amusement clearly evident on his face. 

"Feisty. I like how you don't listen to hyuck, maybe we should be best friends" he let out, holding out his fist to fist bump yours, which you do, sticking your tongue out at your best friend. 

"Okay! Let's play, put a finger down if you have!" Yangyang suggested, eyes scanning all your faces to see if anyone's not feeling the game today. Seeing everyone do nothing but nod, he starts dictating, asking them to put up five fingers. The first person to lose out apparently has to either take shots or confess their deepest secrets. 

The first rounds went well, easy questions which made you feel bored, slight headache striking in, making you rest your head on Haechan's shoulder. Sensing weight on his shoulder, he turned his head towards the side, looking at you with concern, a glint of 'I told you' shining through the orbs. 

"tell me off later, my head hurts real bad" you mumble, soft enough for only him to hear before he could nag at you. Saying nothing else other than shifting closer to you for you to get comfortable he said, "Just sleep, I'll take you home".

The moment you close your eyes after his words, you hear Jeno blurt out the next question, it being his turn to do so. 

"put a finger down if you've ever been head over heels for your best friend", His other friends chuckle, while Jeno smirked at Haechan, too tired to open your eyes to see who put a finger down, you fail to notice Haechan put a finger down, looking down at you all worn out on his shoulder, his circle feigning disgust. 

The game was probably long done, the party might've also ended, you must've fallen asleep because the next time you open your eyes, you find yourself in your best friend's bedroom, still feeling tired. Looking outside the window, seeing it's still dark outside, you turn to the side, flinching just a bit when you find Haechan at the side of the bed, arms folded over the sheets as he rests his head on top of it. It must've been uncomfortable kneeling on the floor for that long. 

You take the chance to look at him properly, well, better than the past god knows how many years into your friendship. You take your time to roam your eyes all over his facials. Gawking at the moles adorning his tanned skin, lifting your fingers up to feather over them. Your hands then move to the scars at each corner of his eyebrows, chuckling as you remember how he got them. 

You brush his dishevelled hair out of his face, the action making Haechan stir in his slumber which had you stop your moments completely. Running your fingers through his hair one last time, about to pull your hands away from him to not wake him up you feel his hands grip your wrist, holding it in place. 

You yelp, not expecting him to be awake, "why did you stop? I was about to fall asleep" he whines out, getting up from the floor, standing to his full height which makes you shift, leaning your back against the headboard to look at him more comfortably. 

"Did you carry me up here?" you asked, voice a little hoarse as the alcohols after effects had your throat burn. "Nope, you just zapped here. Of course I carried you" he replied, masking his flustered look at how you looked, face glowing, eyes hazed and on bed. His bed. 

"Does it hurt for you to reply normally for once..?" you open your eyes a little wider in genuine curiosity 

Oh la la la, please allow me 

Oh la la la, into your imagination 

I'll go right in, so let me in

I'll dance in your eyes 

Oh la la la, the moment our gazes meet. 

Replying is hard, keeping his eyes away from your lips is hard, to stop himself from slowly leaning forward was hard too. You're killing him. The alcohol in his system did nothing more than fuel his desires for you.

It's weird, how one moment, you're whining at your best friend being a sarcastic hoe to how your breath gets caught in your lungs the next moment at the sight of your crush leaning closer to you. 

It's weird how all those thoughts of, 'friends should stay friends' were thrown right out of the window when he was now, just inches away from you, noses grazing each other.

The proximity was that where you could feel his breath fanning your lips. Now that's weird too, weren't you just having a normal conversation? 

Haechan snaps out of it, you're probably drunk. He pulls away just as you close your eyes, ready to bask in the feeling of his lips against yours. 

"I can't.. You'll forget all this by tomorrow, I'll wake you up before class, have some rest." He said, avoiding eye contact as you felt a pang of disappointment hit you. 

That night, all Haechan could think of was your slightly parted lips, eyes fixated on your lips and your slow, shallow, small breath. 

You've never felt awkward around Haechan, neither do you want to feel awkward around him, but each time you see him, all you're reminded of is how close you were to change your friendship into something else. 

On the other hand, Haechan wanted to hit himself for cowering out once again. He was so close to finally making you his. But now all he's left with is a sexual tension so thick that could be cut by a knife. He wanted you. He craved you.

It only started working him up more the day you called him over to your studio apartment for a movie night, ignoring all past events over the week. Them being, Haechan becoming a much touchy friend. He's always been a physical affection shower either ways. 

Haechan complied, arriving at your place with a large bag of Doritos. Greeting you with a huge smile, ignoring the fast beating of his heart when you reciprocate the same expression. 

"Heyyy! Missed me? I know! I missed me too" Haechan said, making his way around you quickly to hide the crimson that took place on his cheeks, not wanting you to see it. 

"I did" you say quietly, closing the door as Haechan made himself comfortable on your couch, having set the chip packet in the kitchen counter. 

He mentally took a note of your outfit, plain black shorts that were a little too short for the sake of his heart not falling right out, and a white shirt, a crop top, to be precise.

"It's your turn to choose the movie" you say, making your way towards the other side of the couch. "Monsters inc?" he answers as you whine, having already regret the choice of giving him the liberty. 

"Hyuck we watched that movie about like, 5 times, when will you get over it?" you ask

"Never so stop whining and watch the movie with me." he replied with the sass you were oh so familiar with, making you roll your eyes. 

Ah, it's going to be a long night. 

You were lost in your own thoughts, not paying attention to the movie much as you remember the night at the frat house. It's impossible to get Lee Haechan out of your mind. It's impossible because you know he has his eyes on you right now. Looking at you, oblivious to the fact that you knew of his gaze. 

"Hyuck.. " you call him out, turning to face him from your side of the couch. Haechan looks away momentarily, flustered as you caught him stare at you. He hums in response, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen. 

"About that night in your room" you start, turning completely, your body facing him as you sit criss cross. Haechan visibly tenses up, thinking you're about to tell him off for crossing the line, "Y/n, about that, i'm- i'm sor-"

"Do you like me?"

Right now, in this moment, the space between us

Is filled with this strong trembling 

Becoming a rhythm and drawing me in

Let your body move to it however you'd like. 

Haechan was caught off guard by your question, blinking, once, twice, even shaking his head to see if he's imagining things, "Huh?" he asked just for confirmation. 

"Do you like me..?" you repeated, slower, heart racing in anticipation as you lean forward a bit, waiting for his reply.

"What are you going to do if I say.. Yes?" he asked, eyebrows raised as he leaned forward a little too. You had the strong urge to want to lean back from the proximity, feeling blood rush up to your cheeks but you stood your ground, wanting to do this right here. Right now. 

"Then I'll continue what we almost started" you exclaim, the smile he loves so much finding its way onto your face.

"Will you? Really?" he asked, scooting closer to you, something about his eyes switching gazes when you lean further, making your shirt come down a bit. You nod, that's when he pulls you forward by your arms, making you let out a sound of surprise as you crash onto his side, looking at him with your eyes widened. 

"Then yes." he whispered after leaning close to your ears, you feel yourself growing hot each passing second. The position is extremely intimate. You pull away to look into his eyes, to spot any signs of all this being nothing more than just a joke. You lose it when he looks at you with a strong gaze, eyebrows slightly raised, lips drawn into a small smile, immediately pressing yours onto his after staring it for way too long.

His hands found their way around your waist, tugging at you slowly, gesturing you to get onto his lap. 

An odd smile that doesn't let on

Seeing through the curiosity driving me on

And sending a sign

You oblige, as your lips move in unison, Haechan shifted in his seat to a better position, man spreading to let you sit better on his lap all while still not letting go of your lips. 

His hands find their way under your crop top, letting his arms wander the bare skin of your back, his cold touch in contrast to your warm body making you gasp. Haechan takes the opportunity of your parted lips to enter your mouth, tongue pressing against yours making you whine. 

You pull away only when you feel your lungs practically begging for a puff of air even, tugging softly at his slightly grown hair, letting out an airy giggle at the sight of your lip color smeared at the corner of his lips. 

"That was way better than all I've imagined it to be" Haechan smiled at you, pressing his forehead against yours, pulling you closer by the hips. You look away from his gaze, "you've imagined kissing me?" you ask softly, playing with the charm hanging off his neck.

"way too many times to keep a count" he replied, placing another peck on your lips, pulling away immediately, laughing as you subconsciously follow his lips. 

He finally let's you press onto his lips once again, groaning as your teeth clash from how fast you were at finding his lips. You whimper when his hands squeeze at your sides.

You jerk forward, testing the waters as you move your lips from his lips, to his neck, peppering the skin with kisses, giving extra attention to those moles you adored that were scrawled all over his skin, occasionally nibbling at the spot you left a wet trail at. 

It's like you're telling me to open the door

To your slightly open heart and come right in

Please allow me 

Into your imagination 

I'll go right in, so let me in

I'll dance in your eyes

The moment our gazes meet. 

He sighs in content  at the feeling of your plush lips pressed against his skin, "I won't be able to control myself if you keep going, doll" you continue your ministration.  Then don't" you say, trying to sound as sultry as possible. Having waited so long to have Donghyuck as more than just friends had you desperate for any sort of contact from his side. 

You could sense his slight hesitation, maybe he didn't want to rush things, maybe he just couldn't get himself to do it, or maybe, he was just nervous.  

Should I really try making a move now? 

What should be the first thing I say? 

The moment I hesitate, thinking it over

You get up and walk away. 

You stand up, from his lap, looking at his eyes, nodding so softly that he'd miss it if he'd blink as you make your way towards your bedroom, smiling. You tug at your shirt, slowly, above your head, not daring to turn to look back at Donghyuck's reaction, a triumphant look washing over your facial as you hear him growl with that honey voice of his. 

He must've stared at your back a little too long, seeing your hair cover the top half of your torso as you turned towards your bedroom, looking at him one last time before entering the room which was illuminated with just your fairy lights. 

Even as I look at your bold back from far away

Your slow pace is telling me to follow

Girl just tell me what you like

It's like you're telling me to hurry

"she'll be the death of me.. " he ruffled his hair, before getting up to walk down the same pathway as you. 

Walking into your bedroom, Haechan was more than sure that the sight before him was the most ethereal sight he'd seen his entire life. 

You sat by the foot of the bed, adorned in only your black lace bra, the black shorts, and your hair left open in all glory. He swallows the lump forming in his throat, mood switching so fast because the boy you walked away from, Lee Haechan, the one hesitant to take it this far, was now replaced with the Lee Haechan, walking towards you with long, confident strides. 

As he comes to stand in front of you, he bends down, snaking one of his arms around your waist, pulling you up and close to his body. 

"tell me, have you been dreaming about me just the way I've dreamt about you?" he leans closer to the nape of your neck, running the tip of his nose along the unexpectedly sensitive skin up to your ears, nibbling at the earlobe. 

"Have you waited for all this just as much as i have? Tell me, princess" he rasps out as you place your hands gently by the belt loop of his jeans. 

Please allow me

Into your reality 

Not trusting your voice, you nod, wanting to feel his lips against yours once again but Haechan held onto you with a firm grip, 

"Tell me, baby. Words, those are the keys. Use your words" He moved from nibbling onto your earlobe to marking territory onto your skin that had you jerking forward, further into his body. 

I'll approach you, so hold onto me

Tell me that you were waiting

The moment i reached you

You huff out, opening your mouth the exact moment he took hold of your chin with a gentle grip, looking at your orbs with so much expectation, so much adoration, so much love, so much lust. 

"I've waited a long time too." you start 

"I waited for so long; the day in your room, during that night, I was so happy when you approached me, but then you pulled away. You made me wait enough Hyuck, please let me feel you now? I want you. No. I need you" 

You didn't pay attention to his heaving chest, or how his eyes were turning into a whole darker shade of ebony, instead, stood on your tip toe and engulfed his slightly puffy lips with yours. 

Haechan didn't deny the kiss, dying to take you quick there itself when the first sentence left your lip, but he wanted to take it slow, he wanted to show you how much he's waited for this too. How much he likes you and he wanted to make sure you felt it from each action of his. 

He urged you to move backwards, closer towards the edge of the bed, not breaking the kiss even for a second, his hands securing around your waist as he slowly bends down to place you on the quilt. 

His hands make their way back, fiddling with the hook of your bra as he breaks the kiss with one last peck at the corner of your lips. "i need you too, doll. I need you just as much as you need me, maybe even twice as much" he mumbles against the soft skin of your collarbone, tapping at your back with the tip of his finger once he had the hooks undone to pull the material away from your body. 

Shyness suddenly overpowers all lust, you bring up an arm to cover your now exposed breast while Haechan is busy throwing your clothing behind him. 

Turning around, facing you, he smiles at you, gently prying your hand away from your chest leaving your torso bare naked in front of him which had you shut your eyes with embarrassment. 

"Look at me, baby." Donghyuck urges you. 

You give yourself a second, inhaling sharp as you flutter your eyes open, looking straight into his eyes. "You have no reason to hide yourself from me" he pulls away after placing a peck in the valley of your chest. He tugs at the edge of his hoodie, pulling it over his head before discarding it behind.

"Here. Now we both are half naked" he smiles at you as you mirror his expression. 

Donghyuck wasn't all that built, he wasn't not built either. Ever since Renjun started forcefully dragging Haechan to the gym, he'd lost that baby stomach that you loved to poke at during class just to annoy him, now replaced with very faint ab lines which, you were sure you'd grow a liking for pretty soon.

You whimper at the feeling of his lips graze over hardened nipples, jolting forward when he lifts hands from above your hips to your neck where he'd previously left his mark, tracing the reddish purple/brownish skin. 

He latches his lips onto one nib, swirling his tongue around the hardened muscle, his free hand making its way south, waiting for any signs of protest before dragging the short down, shifting his attention over to the untended nipple. 

"beautiful.. " he mumbles against your wet nipple, blowing onto it later, all sensation making you feel ecstatic.

"Hyuck, I need-..need you" you choke out.

"I know, princess. But we need to prepare you a little, hm?" he lets out, voice a few octaves deeper than usual, as he finally tugs your panties down your leg, letting it slide itself onto the floor.

Haechan looks at you, expression blissful from all the attention you're getting. You quickly nod, looking at him giving him a hundred percent access to do you however he likes when you notice his eyes silently ask for consent. 

He feathers his thumb over your clit, smiling at how responsive you are to his touches. He slowly starts drawing circles onto the sensitive bud, pressing his lips to the side of your face, whispering sweet nothings into your ears. 

"Haechan!" you whine out, his words only adding to the pleasure. Experimentally, he moves his finger down to your slit, feeling your slick wetness coat his fingers making him let out a throaty sound of satisfaction. 

He did this to you. 

That had his ego boost shoot right up the roof. He let the tip of his middle finger poke at your entrance, cooing at you while pressing it inside of you. "So wet, baby. All for me?" he questions, slowly moving his wrist back and forth.

You nod frantically, "Hm? Words?" he pushes, slightly picking up the speed. 

"All for you, H-haechan. It's.. It's -all for you" you cling onto his forearm, as he coax you closer to your orgasm. "That's right baby, it's all for me" he presses his lips against your cheeks once again.

He adds in another finger when he knows you're close, speeding up even further, curling the digits in you which had your eyes roll back. 

Your orgasm washes over you with so much intensity the moment he engulfs your nipple once again. Slowly helping you ride out your orgasm, only removing his fingers from within you when you started to writhe from overstimulation. 

"You did so well doll, can you take one more?" he asked sweetly as you calmed down. That's when you realized how selfless he'd been, now looking down at the dent on his jeans which looked a little painful. 

You get up after nodding as you watch Haechan unbuckle his belt, removing the jeans along with his boxer, adding it to the pile of clothes behind him, you lean forward, "Your turn" you tell as Haechan's face contorts into confusion. 

Finally realizing what you mean, he smiles at you, pulling you into another loving kiss as he runs a hand down your messed up hair. "Maybe another time? I just want to feel you around me now, princess, i can't wait longer" 

With that, he made you lay back down, "condom?"

"It's fine, I'm on pills" you rub your hand up and down his hands that were beside you, balancing his body above yours. The thought of going raw inside you made Haechan's member twitch. 

He runs his member up and down your wet sex, coating it with your essence before letting the head poke at your entrance as it expands with each inch he enters in, the wetness making it so much easier to enter. 

He lets out a groan that sounded so much like a whine, finally having been able to feel your walls perfectly fit around his shaft. He leans down, now balancing himself on his elbows as you finally give him the go ahead sign. 

He interlocks your lips with his as he slowly starts moving his hips into yours. "You feel so good for me, doll. Fuck." he rasps out against your lips. 

He had to hang onto the last of his rationality to not ram into you, you just felt that good around him, and he felt so good inside of you. 

Haechan slowly picks up the pace, now moving a little faster against your hips as you reduce down to a moaning mess, chains of his name leaving your mouth continuously.

"Hyuck, i..I'm close" you moan out, the little sensitivity you'd left from your previous orgasm slightly striking in. Your moans encouraged Haechan to go faster.

Testing the water, he pull moves back completely to a point where only his tip's inside of you, "Yeah?"  he questioned while slamming back inside of you, making his tip brush against your soft spot which coaxed you closer to your high. 

"Yes-" you whimper, when he finally let go and snapped, desperate to chase his high. The new pace having him constantly hit the pleasure spot. 

You start clenching around his member, not wanting to orgasm before him. "Fuck baby, me too. I'm close too" 

"Haechan im.. I'm coming-" you let out a long loud moan as you feel yourself being thrown towards your edge, face contorting into that of pure bliss, as the constant clenching helped drag him towards his high. 

"Shit, Y/n" he immediately pulled out, feeling his own high wash over his, pumping the wet shaft a few more times before spurting ribbons of his essence all over your lower abdomen. He kept going until he felt himself grow soft in his grip. 

He clashes down beside you once wiping his hands down on the sheets which you most definitely have to wash the next day. 

"Don't fall asleep on me baby, i want to ask you something" Haechan lets out quickly as he finds you blinking slowly, most probably out of exhaustion. 

"I'm not.." you hoarse out. 

"I mean it when i say, i like you, Y/n. Heck, i think I'm in love with you" he starts flipping so that his back was on the sheets with you on top of him. 

"So.. Will you.. Will you be my-"

"Yes!" you reply fast, suddenly having sparks of energy flow through you. 

"you didn't let me complete my question though" he chuckles, pressing a peck onto the crown of your head. 

"Yes. I will be your girlfriend!" you make yourself a little clearer this time around. Girlfriend. His. 

"That.. Means.. You're mine?" he asks, unsure if he should ask so or not. 

You nuzzle further into his chest, tightening your grip around his bare torso. 

"I'm yours"

Now i approach you,

You and I have grown closer.

[imaginethebeautifulworld]

prussia x reader: silly squabbles

Hello, lovelies~ I was plagued by images of this dumbass and his general ridiculousness, so of course I had to write it all out. This fic is pointless, but I hope you enjoy anyway.

"You are really annoying."

"And yet, somehow, I'm not detecting any real annoyance. Wonder why?"

His words hung lightly in the air, gentle and playful, just shy of taunting.

You did your best to ignore them, trying to focus on your book. But his fingers were moving again, trailing over your back in an inconsistent pattern, heavy enough a presence to register, yet just light enough to torment.

You were sure, in some long-winded, ridiculous, roundabout way, he would blame you for this predicament- for not reading as fast as him, for not paying him enough attention during a lazy day in.

Regardless, you tried to focus on the passage at hand, rereading the same paragraph for the tenth time now as he teased a particularly sensitive spot near your ribs.

He wasn't quite tickling you- not yet- but the shifting tempo and pressure all played upon the obvious threat.

Only mildly irritated- really, you were too familiar with his shenanigans by now to ever be truly annoyed- your focus landed on the bookcase, the only immediate target for your long-suffering gaze. "Do you mind?"

There was a hint of pride in his voice as he answered, a cockiness at successfully distracting you. "Nope!"

His fingers- now having tasked themselves with massaging more than teasing- paused between your shoulder blades. "Why? Do you?"

Rather than allow him another victory, you huffed quietly, pointedly making an effort to lose yourself once more in your book. "No... Not at all."

If he was amused by your answer practically being ground between your teeth, he made no indication of it. Instead, he resumed his massage, keeping his palm mostly flat against your spine, adopting a steady rhythm that lulled you into some semblance of security.

You allowed yourself to relax, turning your attention fully to your tale, praying he would at least let you finish this chapter in relative peace.

It was a hope to be short-lived alas, his posture shifting, bringing him near enough to read over your shoulder.

You were far too invested to truly pay him any mind, but then he was hovering near your temple, fingers drifting ever closer to your neck, once more dancing in that maddeningly light way which he employed solely in effort to agitate you.

You knew what he was doing, and you'd be damned if you'd let him win; summoning every ounce of self-restraint within you, you purposely, blatantly, chose to ignore him.

It took only a few moments for him to acknowledge your determination towards defiance (a few torturous moments where he had started tracing his nails against your hairline and whispered some of the passage aloud), his huff of displeasure bring you a small taste of sweet, sweet victory.

You would have been naive to think he had given up, knew it would be foolish to assume, to dare to presume, that he didn't already have other strategies in mind.

What you couldn't guess, regretfully, was exactly which plan he would attempt next.

When he sat upright once more, leaving you to lounge peacefully on your stomach, you unwisely surmised that he was actually finished with the whole affair, that he'd grown bored, that he would actually leave you to your novel in peace.

Feeling him shift back to the head of the bed, hearing him tapping away at his phone- these factors allied with his distance away from you all allayed your worries, letting you escape once more to the realm belonging to the pages before you.

The temporary tranquility was somehow less than simply fleeting; it had scarcely existed at all.

Not even five minutes had passed, and you felt teasing fingers once more, now grazing ever-so-softly against the bare skin of your ankle.

A jolt of panic fueled your reflexive movement away from him, your legs kicking, book falling to the floor in your surprise.

You shot upright and fixed him with a glare, hoping to convey just how furious you were with him. "I swear to God-!"

The villainous grin on his face revealed vanity in its purest form, and it did nothing to reduce your resentment.

Scowling now, and forcing yourself into an upright position, you narrowed your eyes at him. "What do you want, asshole?"

He was quiet for a moment, by all appearances still savoring his triumph. But then his smile shifted, the self-satisfied smirk falling slowly into something softer, fonder.

It took you by surprise, sent a stutter through your pulse, all irritation rapidly transitioning into confusion. "What?"

He shifted forward, leg bending beneath him as he drew closer.

Suspicious, but not too concerned, you offered an unimpressed expression, relaying your distrust. "Gil?"

There was a flicker to his smile, but it was soon replaced by something far more serious, his eyes languidly studying your features.

Briefly, more a passing fancy, you considered teasing him for his sudden quiet, yet there was something too tremulous tormenting him, and you dismissed the thought as quickly as it came, instead offering your concern. “Teuton?”

Whatever spell that had held him within its grasp was finally dismissed, his head cocking to the side and a considering tone coating his next words. “You love me, right?”

It sounded innocent enough, and his behavior certainly suggested no ill-intent. But you knew him, and knew all-too-well not to fully believe in it. “Is that a trick question?”

You made sure to keep your words only just on the side of playful, but tempered with enough sincerity to assuage any possible self-doubts that may be afflicting him.

It was clearly the right approach, the left corner of his mouth only just hinting at a smile, a familiar spark almost tangible in the air. “It’s a simple question, Liebling. No need to sound so suspicious!”

You felt your eyes narrow as you studied him, his wording only heightening your wariness. “You know- The fact you feel you have to say so really isn’t winning you any points here.”

His grin was back at that, disorienting in its intensity, just enough that you nearly forgot his previous grimness. “I’m just asking if you love me, mein Schatz. ‘Snot like I’m asking you to sell me your immortal soul or something.”

You neglected to point out how those two things were near one and the same, instead choosing to offer a faux sincerity. “Oh no, you’re right. I hate you so much,” you quipped, each syllable oversaturated in sarcasm.

He scoffed, melodramatically pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m wounded.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning down just long enough to rescue your book from the floor, marking your page and setting beside you on the comforter. “I’m sure your pride will be just fine."

“I dunno…” His words trailed off, and you could make out the distinct, irritating sound of him sucking on his teeth. “I think it may be mortal this time.”

You decided to play along, content to lose yourself in the absurdity. “Oh no,” came your reply, emotionless a tone as you could muster, in spite of the smile playing on your lips. “How could I possibly live with myself?”

He hummed, running a finger over his chin as if he were seriously considering it. “You’d probably take my fortune, settle somewhere warm.”

You fought a laugh, unsuccessfully. “Mm, definitely. Have sordid affairs with all the cabana boys and the waitresses.”

“Sing drunken renditions of Mamma Mia during karaoke night.”

“And I’ll adopt some ugly, exotic pet that I insist travels with me everywhere.”

“Only after your third husband disappears after mysterious circumstances, of course.”

He was only half-serious, and you couldn’t resist raising an eyebrow in mock offense. “Only three?”

Your question made him snicker, his eyes shining in amusement, but he didn’t continue the exchange.

Several moments passed, and with them the lingering ridiculousness of the “argument” faded away. There were many of these odd backs-and-forths, all somehow sillier than the last. The quiet was just as pleasant though, and you embraced the comfort it carried.

That was, until, he was biting his lip in thought, his amusement long abandoned.

Concerned, you shifted closer, studying his features carefully. "Gil?"

His eyes were glued to some distant place you couldn’t see, miles and centuries away from the here and now. “You do love me, right?”

“Of course,” you replied almost reflexively, still taken aback by the sudden shift back to solemnity.

“Really?” His eyes turned to yours once more, unguarded, open, a haunting fragility shining in them that made your heart clench inside your chest.

Wherever this insecurity came from, you wished you could rid him of it, tear all traces of it from his psyche, make it so he would never question his self-worth ever again.

As it was, you did what you could, lifting his hand to your lips and pressing a soft kiss to his ring, meeting his gaze as you lingered against the silver. “Would you be wearing this if I didn’t?”

There was a smile, the one you fell in love with: fond, slightly shy, just a little cocky. “Good point.”

You couldn’t help but feel as if something was still off about him however, something bothering him that you couldn’t even hope to guess. “Why do you ask, anyway?”

He took to studying your features again, his free hand rising to trace his fingers softly against your cheek. His eyes were warm and gentle, posture completely at ease. His words however-

“Sometimes I can’t believe this is real, or how lucky I am; some days I swear you’re just a figment of my imagination.”

His words carried an almost unbearable amount of loneliness, layered among disbelief and adoration. They triggered several different emotions within you, stirring them into a frenzied muss of affection and sadness, leaving you breathless.

Several potential reactions came to mind, but were all dismissed as you weighed his words, compared them to the relaxation of his shoulders, the familiarity as he languidly brushed his fingertips behind your ear, lightly teasing your scalp.

You could easily surrender to it, could already feel your own posture relaxing with each steady shift of his fingers. Still, you weren’t quite ready to abandon your prior playfulness, offering a haughty hum to prelude your reply.

“Unfortunately for you, I’m very real.” You felt a passing smirk flicker to life for a moment, blazing brightly before it was gone again, sober sincerity settling once more in its place. “You’re stuck with me, Beilschmidt. Forever…” you finished in an elongated stage whisper.

He breathed a laugh, the slightest hiss, his grin irrepressible now. His tone, however, mimicked nonchalance. “Eh. There are worse things, I guess.”

The tease was impossible to ignore, especially as that all-too-familiar deviousness was taunting in its own right.

You tried to keep your words accusatory, but they came out entirely too fond. “You’re a dick.”

He smirked, offering a half-hearted shrug.

“Guilty,” he sang, almost entirely too proud.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, he was cradling both of your cheeks, and before you could guess at his next move, he was shifting forward, gently pressing a kiss to your forehead. “But I’m a dick who loves you very much.”

Thanks for reading!

[maysbanks]

hypersonic missiles. (jj maybank)

hello ! some of you may recognise this fic and that’s bc it’s currently being rewritten as an oc fic rather than a reader insert fic which it was before. i can’t wait for you to read this and introduce you all to haley who i love dearly, so pls enjoy and lemme know what you think !!

warnings: swearing, mention of sex, sexual innuendos, drug use, underage drinking, violence etc

summary: after the death of her father, haley grubbs is determined to get the answers her mother seems to be keeping from her, seeking help from a group of pogues (which just happens to include her weekly hook-up) and unknowingly throwing herself into the midst of a treasure hunt.

( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )

The gang gathered around John B's porch, spaced out in various positions amongst the furniture. Silence engulfed the group, the air thick with tension as none of the four teenagers dared to speak.

"JJ should be the one to go." Kie broke the silence, her words hanging in the air as the group processed them.

Said boy whipped around in his place, golden hair falling in his sea blue eyes as they widened, glancing wildly between each of his friends. "What?" He demanded. "Why me?"

"Because you're the one that's hooking up with her," Pope reminded, matter of fact. As if JJ needed to be reminded. The dark skinned boy gestured between him and the remaining two. "She's gonna trust you more than any of us."

Kiara and John B murmured their agreement, JJ scoffing as he flapped his arms, beginning to pace in his spot. "This is ridiculous," he muttered between gritted teeth. "She won't wanna talk to me any more than she'll want to talk to you guys. I mean, we've only hooked up like," JJ paused - raising a hand to count on his fingers. "Maybe like, eleven times, twelve at a push!"

Kiara scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Wow, how chivalrous of you to keep count, JJ," she drawled sarcastically, the blonde boy simply shrugging in return as he took his formal position of leaning against the Chateau's wall. "Look, the thing is you know her better than the rest of us. You're familiar, we're not. We can't just go up to her and start asking questions about her dead dad and John B's compass."

JJ stared in disbelief. "And you think I can?" He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know if you guys realise this, but hooking up doesn't really require much talking. I barely know her."

"But you know her enough to warm her bed every week," John B piped up, narrowing his eyes at his best friend. JJ sighed, lighting a fresh blunt as he refused to meet any of the gang's eyes, staring ahead. John B stepped over and beside the blonde, arm thrown over his shoulder. "We need answers, JJ. Answers she could have. I mean, it was her dad right? She must know something about why he had my dad's compass."

JJ nodded along, but the uncertain feeling bubbling in his chest didn't cease. Thoughts of the two men that had chased the group the day before, guns blazing, entered his mind. Then the memory of him and John B showing up at the Grubbs' residence, only to discover they had been beaten to it by the very same men - he'd heard them threaten Lana and Haley Grubbs, demanding questions about the same compass that lay heavy in John B's pockets. He knew his best friend deserved answers, why did Scooter Grubbs have Big John's compass the night he died? Why was Scooter Grubbs out in the storm that night anyway? Hell, even JJ wanted answers. But he couldn't shake the doubtful feeling, thoughts of Haley Grubbs swirling in his head.

"I don't think this is a good idea." He tried once more, voice small and defeated. The Pogues shared a glance, and he knew they'd already come to a decision. Sighing, he flicked the butt of his blunt, sending it flying in the opposite direction. "Fine, I'll go talk to her. But I'm not making any promises that she'll talk," he frowned. "Sometimes I kinda get the feeling she doesn't like me."

Kie snorted. "I wonder why."

What the gang hadn't bargained for, however, was that the same person who'd they been talking about was already on their way to them - boots stomping across the ground in a determined stride, their mind a whirlwind of series of memories, scenarios, and all the events that had happened in the last twenty four hours.

Haley wanted answers, and she wanted them soon. (Sooner rather than later, if she was being precise.) The series of misfortunes events had all begun with the disappearance of her father - for whatever reason, he'd gone out in the storm that raged against the Outer Banks the night prior, and that, unsurprisingly, had led to his death. Memories of his body, washed up on the shore, cold and blue, eyes open but completely lifeless as they stared up at nothing and everything at the same time. Her heart wrenched at the sight, and she still hadn't been able to get the scene out of your head - her mother breaking down in a heap of sobs, Haley’s body following along with her as the pair both held each other and cried, Sheriff Peterkin's voice echoing in Haley’s mind, over and over again, like a siren. “I'm so sorry. There's nothing we could have done."

Haley knew that, of course. But it didn't explain why he was out in the storm in the first place. She had tried to question her mother, because she knew her dad wasn't a fool. Storm Agatha had been reported for weeks following up to it, he'd even made off-handed comments about it over dinner a couple of times. Her dad was aware about the storm, but had still risked his life (and coincidentally, ended it) to take a boat ride, or so that's what her mother told you.

Bull-fucking-shit. Haley knew there was more to the story, the appearance of two men breaking down her door and trashing her whole house was enough proof of that. And the fact that they were asking about a compass, of all things, didn't sit right in Haley’s gut either. Why the hell would two thugs want a compass, and why would her dad have it anyway? To her knowledge, her dad had never owned a compass in his damned life. (He also never owned a boat, which raised the suspicion of how the hell had he even gone out on a boat ride in the first place.) But the pair were persistent, and she was forced to watch as they threatened her and her mom, their last words sticking with her, sending a shiver of dread up her spine every time they echoed in her head; “We'll be back."

It was something straight out of a king-pin movie, and yet Lana Grubbs still wouldn't talk. She knew something, Haley knew it, and why she wouldn't share whatever information she knew with Haley was beyond frustrating - so she decided, fuck it. If her mother wasn't gonna give her her answers, then she was gonna go out and find them herself. Starting with John B. Routledge.

As if things couldn't have gotten any weirder, the teenaged boy had shown up not a minute after the two guys had left, appearing in Haley’s not-so-much of a doorway with the exact thing the thugs were after: the Compass. To her chargin, she hadn't had time to ask any questions though, her mother was quick to dismiss him (and JJ Maybank of all people, but she didn't really want to think about him at the moment) and warned him not to let anyone know that he had the compass, and Haley could see why - those guys were not to be messed with.

And so, John B. Routledge had left the Grubbs’ home, JJ Maybank in tow, and Haley was left to clean up the mess the bastards had left behind them. Her mothers warning rang in her ears; "Stay away from them boys. Do not get involved in this, Hales.” But alas, there she was, storming towards the property she knew the guys would be. Her mother didn't know, of course, and she was determined to make sure Lana never did. (Haley would be the next person she'd be burying if she ever did find it.)

All Haley wanted was answers, and if John B had even a couple, she was going to find them out. Her father had died, and there was more to the story than anyone was letting on. If it was up to her to piece the puzzle together, then so be it. She would, gladly.

So she marched in the direction of the Routledge residence, more determined than ever. As she walked, people gave her pitying looks, obviously recognising her as Scooter Grubbs’ daughter (the newfound bastard of the Outer Banks, sarcasm intended.) and she simply ignored each and every one of them. She didn’t need them, she thought. She was going to find out the truth, and each step Haley took she was closer to uncovering it all. Some people walked towards her as if to stop and talk, probably attempting to give her some kind of condolence, but each time a person did she hurried her pace; she couldn’t be stopped now, she was too close to getting where she wanted to be for some middle-aged folk tell her they were sorry about her loss, even though they couldn’t have cared less about her dad when he was alive.

Fucking bullshit, she thought.

Haley’s stride slowed however, when a familiar looking van made it's way into her vision, memories of it parked outside the very same house she was planning on going running through her already overactive mind. Her stomach churned, thinking she had missed her chance to interrogate the poor unsuspecting boy, before it seemed to slow down and pulled up to right where she was standing on the curb. Her respectively plucked eyebrows raised as the window rolled down, revealing none other than John B sat in the drivers seat, Kiara Carrera in the passenger, and Pope Heyward's and JJ's heads peering around the pair from the back of the van.

John B leaned out, his mop of wavy brown hair entering Haley’s brown eyed gaze, tight smile on his lips. "Haley,” he greeted. “Hey, where are you off to? Need a ride?"

"Actually," Haley drawled as she stepped closer, right arm leaning on the window as she sent a forced smile the teenaged boys way. “I was just heading over to yours. What a coincidence, huh?"

She never missed the look Kiara shot the two guys seated in the back, all of their eyes seemingly communicating in their own weird little telepathical way. John B blinked, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water for a few seconds before he seemed to compose himself, clearing his throat. "Oh, really?" He asked, as naturally as he could. (It wasn't very natural at all.) “How, uh, how come?"

"Oh, you know," Haley started, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly. "Just thought I'd pay you a visit, y'know, like the one you paid me this morning. Remember that?" She asked as innocently as she could manage. (It wasn't very innocent at all.) “Just wanted to ask you a few questions, s'all. Like why you have the one thing those meatheads that trashed my house were after. How you got hold of it, stuff like that."

And then she smiled like they were all sharing a perfectly civil conversation, as if the underlying threatening tone in her voice didn't exist at all. John B sighed, his head turning towards the rest of the group, catching their eyes and seeming to have another one of their telepathic conversations before he turned back to her figure, his head nodding towards the back of his infamous Volkswagen.

"Get in the back," he said - and she did, shooting him a smile that resembled one of a Cheshire Cat, satisfied as she moved to the other side, walking around the van and hearing him mutter from inside, "What? This is the perfect opportunity to ask her." She didn't need to look to know the rest of the gang were probably objecting her presence, but she couldn't care less. This was just the first step to getting what she wanted.

The door to the van was pulled open from the inside, JJ's head popping out and thrusting a hand out towards her to help her climb into the vehicle. Haley swiftly ignored the gesture, missing the flash of confusion and offence that appeared on the blonde's face, climbing into the van and seating herself beside Pope who smiled rather awkwardly toward her.

"I'm, uh, sorry about your dad," he said softly, fidgeting under her gaze. She smiled slightly at him in return, lips quirking more so in amusement at his obvious discomfort at either having her join them, or her being seated so close to him.

"Yeah, me too," Kiara piped up from the passenger seat, glancing over her shoulder towards her. "It must really suck, to just lose him like that."

Haley nodded, head turning in the direction of where JJ sat across from her, rubbing the back of his head as he muttered quietly, "Yeah, I'm sorry too." before averting his eyes when she looked at him, raising her eyebrows.

Kiara ignored him, the awkward silence that presented itself to the pedestrians inside the van only lasting a couple of seconds as she spoke up again. "I can't imagine what you and your mom are going through," she said, soft brown eyes darting to John B quickly before they returned to catch Haley’s once more. "We're always here if you need anything. Pogue's look out for each other, right?"

Haley forced a small smile, not bothering to bring up the fact that Kiara was technically not a Pogue, seeing no point in the matter as she sent her a small nod of appreciation, silently grateful for her words. Haley had always liked Kiara, or Kie, as she was more commonly known as. She had spent many times sat around a fire with her, listening to her rants about the environment and what everyone could do to help it, as an infamous Pogue kegger loomed around them. Haley was grateful for her presence amongst the guys, unsure of the fact that if she wasn't there, she probably wouldn't have entered the van. She was determined, but she also wasn’t stupid. Despite knowing the guys well and practically all her life, (it’s a small town kinda thing), she would never willingly get in a van with them and let them drive her to an unknown destination. Which reminded her suddenly - where the hell were they going?

"We're lucky we got each other, I guess," Haley said in relation to Kie's words. Kie nodded as her eyes darted to John B again. "But thanks, I really appreciate it." She fiddled with the hem of her faded out jean shorts, her next words directed towards John B. "So, care to tell me where we're going? Or better yet, why you have the damned compass my house was trashed for."

Silence filled the air of the Volkswagen. It was suffocating, the air thick with unspoken tension as everybody refused to meet her eyes. Haley was beyond frustrated, incredibly so, and she made a point to catch John B's eyes in the rearview mirror, an eyebrow quirking as she awaited an answer.

Finally, he sighed.

"The compass was my dads," John B revealed. Haley’s mouth opened in shock for a second before she clamped it back shut. "And for whatever reason, your dad had it. We uh, we found it at the wreck of your dads boat yesterday."

"Wait, what?" She demanded, blinking. She glanced between the gang, eyes accusing as she held each of theirs. "You guys found the wreck? And you didn't tell anyone?" She questioned, tone dangerously low. "And you stole from it?"

"It's not technically stealing if it was his compass," JJ defended, shrugging. Haley shot him a glare, feeling a bubble of irritation build deep in her gut. "And anyways, we tried to tell the coastguard about it after we first found it, but the guy was having none of it. They were hounded with the storm."

Her eyes narrowed. "First found it? Exactly how many times have you guys been at the wreck?" She demanded, tone accusatory.

The gang all swivelled to send JJ their own respected glares, Pope's voice small from beside her as he tried to explain. "Only a couple," he started, startling as her head whipped around towards him. "We're really sorry, okay! We didn't know it was your dads when we first found it, if we did, we wouldn't have snooped in his room either!"

Pope seemed to make note of his mistake as the rest of the gang did, Kie letting out a little frustrated groan from the back of her throat as JJ cringed, pointedly avoiding Haley’s gaze. John B's hands gripped the steering wheel tight, a warning "Pope" leaving his mouth.

Haley laughed, though it held no humour. She clasped her hands together, the slap of her palms meeting echoing in the confine space. "Let me get this straight, you guys not only found the wreck of my dads boat and didn't tell anyone about it, but also obviously found where he was staying and snooped in his room," she listed, feeling the familiar build of rage pulse through her body. “I mean, what the fuck you guys?"

"We're sorry," Kiara turned in her seat, meeting the Grubbs’ girl angered gaze. "We swear, if we had any idea it was your dad we wouldn't have. We were just, curious, I guess. We found the key on the boat when Pope first spotted it in the marsh, and before we even snooped we tried to tell the coastguard, but like JJ said, they weren't interested. So, John B and JJ went to look in the room."

Haley sighed heavily, leaning her head back to rest against the wall of the van. She tried to tell herself to calm down - hell, she probably would have done the same thing if it was her in their position, she couldn't get mad at them over that. "And did you guys find anything?" She asked quietly, the gang seemingly relaxing as they recognised her calmer tone of voice.

"Did we find anything?" JJ snorted as he repeated her words, grin falling from his lips at the glares the rest of his friends shot him. Haley sat up straighter, taking note of their warning glances. JJ awkwardly coughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he once again avoided her honey coated eyes. "Uh, not really."

"Not really?" She asked, frown on her plump lips. JJ nodded, tongue darting out to wet his pink lips, uncharacteristically quiet once more. "Okay, what the hell is going on? And no more bullshitting me, I've had enough of that from everyone else for the past forty eight hours. I came to you for answers, I'm not going anywhere without them."

She looked to John B then, hoping, pleading, that he would understand. He'd lost his dad too, nine months ago, supposedly lost at sea, believed to be dead. Haley knew he never believed that though, refusing to agree that his father was dead, insisting that he was simply missing. If there was one person that could understand her need to know about her dad, it was John B. And he knew it too, as he sighed and nodded.

"There was a safe," he started as she listened intently. "There was money inside it, I don't know how much. The cops kinda showed up when we were in there," he admitted sheepishly. "We had to hide before we could count it or anything. But there was also, um, a gun in the safe too."

"A gun?" Haley deadpanned. John B raised his eyes and caught hers, nodding. Haley scoffed in disbelief, running a hand through her almost waist length hair. "Why the hell would my dad have a gun?"

"Um, there's something else you should probably know," JJ blurted. "I kinda, uh, took it."

The Pogues glared at him again, Kie spitting a warning of his name, but the blonde just looked at the girl seated in front of him. Her eyes widened as he brandished the piece of metal, black in colour and daunting in shape. Of fucking course JJ Maybank had stolen her dads gun, she thought. It was so... JJ.

"You stole that from a crime scene?" She sputtered, heart squeezing uncomfortably in her chest as she eyed the object with disdain. JJ nodded, looking almost guilty. "My dads crime scene? What the fuck JJ? Do you realise how much trouble you could get into from taking that? For having that?"

Haley was unsure as to why she seemed to care so much about that, rather than the fact that he'd taken it from her dads motel room, and that the gun was technically her fathers. She didn't want to ponder too much about that, though, there was bigger fish to fry in that moment.

"Sorry," he said, rather dumbly. "You can have it, if you want?"

She stared at him incredulously as he held the gun out towards her, quickly shoving it away from her body as she shook her head forcefully. "What the fuck would I want with a gun, JJ?" Haley demanded. The blonde boy shrugged, suddenly sheepish.

"It was your dads," he stated simply. From the corner of her vision she could see Pope sending him a wild look, brown eyes blown wide as he tried to be subtle and shake his head at his friend, silently warning him to shut the hell up, or so she presumed. "I just thought, y'know-"

"You thought wrong, JJ," Haley interrupted him before he could continue. His eyebrows furrowed as he noted her hostile tone, but let it go as he simply nodded, swallowing thickly when she turned away from him. “So, what happened, after the motel room?"

John B looked glad to be back on the original topic. "Well, it wasn't long after that we found it was your dad. We were gonna tell the police, but uh, we had this crazy idea that there might have been more on the boat, like money or something? I don't know, we just thought-"

"Your dad might've been a straight smuggler," Pope piped up. Haley’s glare made him shrink in his spot. "Sorry, sorry. Not the time, I get it."

"Right," John B said curtly as Kie groaned softly. "So we went to look again, and I found a duffel bag. The marsh was closed, obviously. But we weren't the only ones out there," his voice turned deadly serious. “After I got it, these two guys appeared on a boat. The same two guys that were at your place earlier."

Haley exhaled shakily at the information, memories of the two men entering her mind unwelcoming. The image of them carelessly tearing apart her house, screaming threats at her and her mother, gun held to her temple as their fists left holes in the walls and bruises on her mothers skin. She shuddered and hoped the rest of the gang hadn't noticed, but she could see the pity in John B's eyes as they reconnected with her own.

"They chased after us, and they were shooting at us too. We managed to escape them, and when we got back on land I looked in the bag, and all that was in it was the compass. My dads compass. It's a Routledge family heirloom, and your dad had it."

His tone held accusatory, though she couldn't blame him for it. It was a mystery to even her as to why or how her father had gotten hold of the compass, and she knew John B wanted answers just as much as she did. Haley felt almost guilty that she couldn't give him any as she spoke up, “I didn't know anything about it, I swear. The first time I've even heard of it was today when those guys showed up. I'm sorry, John B."

Said boy nodded, seemingly believing her as he sent a small smile her way, reassuring her. “Anyways, that's why me and JJ went to your place, I just wanted to know if maybe you or your mom knew anything about it or why your dad had it," he shrugged a shoulder, trying to come off as non-chalant. "And that's when we saw those guys again. I'm sorry about that, by the way."

She shrugged too, an expression of what-you-gonna-do on her face. Though she desperately wanted to know more about the compass, and why it could be so important to the thugs, she withheld her questions for the moment, deciding they could come later.

"And then they arrived at mine," John B revealed. Haley’s yes widened in surprise at the sudden revelation, churning of fear twisting at her gut. "They did the exact same at my place that they did to yours; tore the whole place apart, looking the compass I guess."

JJ burst then - Haley jumped as his voice echoed in the van, much more louder than what John B's had been, excitement lacing his tone as he began to recite the story of the two thugs and their mission of tearing John B's poor beloved Chateau apart, hands gesturing wildly around him.

"Yeah, they were fucking crazy man! We were all locked in Big John's office, no way out apart from the window that was fucking painted shut. We could hear them, taunting us, y'know. Like, 'you better not be in there', they even knew John B's name!" JJ rambled, excitable expression painted on his boyish features. "They come in, guns-a-blazing and we're all tryna figure out how the hell to get out of there, before we finally manage to open the window and hide in the fucking chicken coop of all places. It was fucking insane, man. I had to kill a hen just so we could make it out alive."

Haley blinked at that, her jaw dropping slightly as she tried to process all the information he'd thrown at her all within a minute. JJ calmed down from his passionate retale, chest heaving slightly as he took in her dazed expression, sea blue eyes catching hers and holding them. Kiara said his name in a warning tone from the passenger seat, and he snapped out of his stare-off with the olive skinned girl, but she was still looking at him in disbelief.

"That's basically it," John B said from the front of the van, though his face held a slight grimace at his best friends rather dramatic recite. "But yeah, they practically stripped my dads office bare. They took everything, all of his books, research, everything about the Royal Merchant."

If anybody had noticed her sudden stiff posture at the mention of the Merchant, they never spoke on it. The Royal Merchant. Something Haley was all too familiar with. It had been something of a fascination to her father for a while, especially in the weeks leading up to his death. She just thought it was a weird hobby, a strange interest of his that she never really thought much of. It was nice to see her dad passionate about something, she’d thought. No matter how strange she believed it to be, he had a hobby and she was happy for him. But, sitting in the back of John B. Routledge's van, surrounded by a group of teenaged Pogues, one of which she was were all too familiar with, to put it simply, her throat tightened.

Surely the Royal Merchant couldn't have had anything to do with her dad, right? She was just thinking too much, more than likely. But something in the back of her mind was nagging, unforgiving as the thoughts whirled in her head.

"But before the guys showed up, we found something," she focused back her attention as John B continued. "There's something engraved on the compass. Redfield. It's my dads handwriting, he must have put it there for me, before he disappeared."

Haley shared a glance with JJ as John B said the word. Disappeared. Ever the hopeful, yearning boy. She couldn't doubt his wish, she wished for nothing more for her dad to appear back in her life - but she knew that hers was dead, officially. How could she forget, she saw his lifeless eyes every time she closed hers.

But John B didn't have that, he never knew, really, if his father was truly dead or alive. The records said so, but he'd refused to sign them, or so she heard. He was still hopeful, so certain that his dad would just appear back at the Chateau one day, like he'd never disappeared in the first place. But Haley - and many others - were realistic, and the reality was there was very little to no chance that Big John Routledge was alive.

(Her heart broke for the boy.)

She tuned out the rest of the conversation for the remainder of the drive, her head leaning back on the cool metal of the wall as she closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander with all the possibilities. Could the Royal Merchant really have been a factor in her dads death? She couldn't shake the feeling, as she could hear vaguely the conversation of the gang. John B insisting that his dad was leading him on a mission, Kiara trying to be supportive but anyone could pick up on the doubt in her voice, Pope piping up with rather unhelpful scenarios like Big John having been kidnapped, (Haley had rolled her eyes), and JJ adding his input, multitasking with rolling a blunt. (She’d rolled her eyes harder.)

The thing was, Haley and the Maybank boy had a little deal going on. She could remember the exact day it had begun, at an infamous Pogue kegger, the sun having set and leaving the sky coloured in perfect hues of pink, purple and yellow. It had been a beautiful night, she had to admit. The party had gone strong to the early hours of the morning, and she’d somehow found herself leaving with JJ Maybank. He'd approached her after she witnessed him striking out with a Touron, (surprisingly), eyes narrowing at her when she’d let out a giggle at his misfortune. He had been hostile at first, demanding what she was laughing at, grinning slightly when she informed him simply 'you'.

The rest of the night had been spent in each others company, and Haley could recall the exact moment where they were dancing closely, bodies pressed tight against each other, her arms thrown over his shoulders and wrapped around his neck, his own around her waist, fingers digging into her hips. Their breath mingled together, his forehead leaning against her own, and she’d expected the moment his lips fell on herd, slightly chapped but impossibly soft against her own as they danced in a passionate embrace that secretly took her breath away. She’d let him lead her to John B's Chateau across the beach, hand gripped in one another’s, as he pressed her to every surface until they managed to stumble their way into the spare bedroom.

She had told herself the next morning that it would only be a one time thing. Haley wasn’t one for random hook-ups, not that no one had tried to coax her into one. She was kinda known amongst the island as being this untouchable, obtainable person that nobody could ever get close to. She wasn’t sure what it was about her that made everyone label her as this being - maybe it was the fact that she was a loner and didn’t stick to one friendship group and spent most of her time to herself, maybe it was the fact that people thought she was weird because her dad was known to be such a loser (God rest his soul), or maybe it was the fact that she skateboarded around town morning till dawn, earphones plugged in and music blasting so loud that passerby’s could hear every word clearly.

The point was, she wasn’t known for getting close to anyone. And yet, she had found herself drifting back to JJ Maybank many other nights after that first one, and that’s where their little deal came into play.

But that's where it began, and also where it ended. Hers and JJ's relationship (if you could even call it that) never went beyond that. Random hook-ups here and there, whenever JJ struck out with a Touron and found himself soughting Haley out amongst the crowd to fill the space in his bed. Of course they were always friendly with each other, they’d known each other for so long, that it would have been silly not to continue being friendly. But they never hung out, not with his group, not with him alone apart from their many nights of endeavours, until now, she supposed. She thought it might have been weird, and she thought correct. Neither of them really looked at each other head-on, the air awkward and thick as the driving continued.

Haley was thankful when John B seemed to finally arrive at his destination, and she leaned forward with Pope to glance out the window, spotting the tall lighthouse stood proud in front of the group. Redfield, the name was written boldly on display.

"Redfield Lighthouse," John B spoke. "My dads favourite place."

She clambered from the van as the rest of the guys did, gazing up at the high building with her hand shielding her eyes from the bright sun from where they all gathered at the clearing. John B turned to face JJ. "Right, you're gonna post up and look out for bogeys, okay?"

JJ's eyebrows furrowed as he demanded, "Wait, why me?" His expression only darkened when Pope informed he wasn't to go in the Lighthouse, Haley watching from the sidelines, unsure where to put herseld in the situation. "Why?" He continued to argue.

Pope grabbed hold of JJ's shoulders. "There are independent and dependent variables, you're an independent variable-" he tried to explain but was quickly cut off as JJ began to yell over his words. "We don't know what you'll do!"

"Shut up!"

Haley awkwardly scuffed her boots on the ground as Kiara sent her a small smile from ahead of the boys, rolling her eyes dramatically when Haley caught them. She smiled at the gesture, once again appreciative of her presence. "Listen to me for a second," John B cut in their argument, stepping forward. "Pope, you stand look out with JJ, okay?" The pair in questioned seemed reluctant, but both nodded at John B's persistent glare. The tall brunette turned to her next, gaze softening immensely when he caught sight of her uncertain posture. "Do you mind keeping an eye out here?"

She shook your head immediately, sending him a reassuring nod. "Yeah, sure. That's fine by me. Heights aren't really my thing anyway," she told him as she looked up at the Lighthouse, nausea hitting at a slight force when she stared at the very top of the building amongst the blue sky. "Yeah, I'm good here."

He nodded back at her, a thankful smile on his lips. "If we split up, we meet back at JJ's house." He spoke, directing the words to the whole group. They all nodded their agreement.

"Great." Kie finalised, shooting Haley one last small smile before her and John B began to walk off, jumping the small fence that blocked their path, their stride quickly entering them into the lighthouse. Haley exhaled as they disappeared into the door, and moved her gaze to return on the two boys she was stuck with.

"I'm gonna work on my merit scholarship essay." Pope informed, before he turned and entered back into the van, leaving her and JJ stood on the outside of it, alone and deadly quiet. She looked at the golden haired boy as he pulled out a happy sack from his pocket, beginning to kick it around with his booted foot.

Haley sighed as she leaned on the passenger side door, her teeth biting down on her watermelon flavoured chapstick covered lip as she stared at the grass beneath her feet, her mind racing. A thud caught her attention and she glanced in the direction of where it had come from, a happy sack laying at her feet. She looked back up to JJ, who sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Um, sorry about that."

She huffed out a small laugh, bending down and snatching the sack from the floor. "You don't have to apologise to me JJ," she said softly. Throwing the sack back to him, his large hands reached out and cupped it, bringing it back to his chest. “I'm sorry about this, y'know, gatecrashing your friends' little adventure."

JJ's lips quirked, his muscular arm reaching back and throwing the sack into the air, Haley catching it and holding his eyes. "You're not gatecrashing anything," he assured. In the sunlight, his skin cast a golden glow. "And 'sides you deserve to be here. You're looking for just as much answers as John B is."

"I'm not sure about that," Haley told him and threw the sack to him. "I mean, I'm looking for answers, of course. That's why I'm here. But I'm pretty sure John B needs them more than I do," she glanced at the lighthouse momentarily. "I know what happened to my dad, pretty much. He died while being out in the storm, I know that, I just don't know why he was out in the storm or what he was even up to in the weeks leading up to it. John B doesn't even know for sure if his dad is dead or alive." She shuddered at the thought, shaking her head. "He deserves answers way more than me."

JJ nodded, tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek as he paused in throwing the sack back towards her, looking at her small figure thoughtfully. "Do you think they could be connected?" He asked suddenly. Haley stared at him, confusion painted on her face. "Your dads, I mean. Yours and John B's. Do you think they could be connected, like your dads death and JB's dads disappearance?"

She stopped. Could they be, really? She had to admit she thought about it in the van on the journey there, but as quickly as it came it passed. To her knowledge, her dad and Big John didn't really know each other - of course they knew each other, but they didn't mix, or so she believed. But her mind replayed the moment John B mentioned the Royal Merchant, the way her stomach had filled with dread immediately, and she had the sinking feeling that it was very possible that what JJ was hinting at could be true.

"I don't know, maybe," she said instead, not wanting to voice her thoughts. JJ nodded thoughtfully, finally throwing her the sack back. She caught it, and repeated the process back to him again.

"I am sorry, though. About your dad," JJ's voice was soft, careful as he watched her pause, taking in his words. "I was gonna say more before, but with the guys... I know how much he meant to you."

Haley smiled gently, a sudden flutter in her chest alarming her as she nodded appreciatively at his words. "Thank you, JJ," she said quietly, sincerely. "It means a lot."

JJ nodded too, chapped lips pulling into an uncertain half-grin. "And I just wanted to say as well, that uh, I don't want things to be like, weird between us or anything," he stated awkwardly, clearing his throat. Haley almost laughed at the look on his face. "I mean, like, with us hooking up and stuff-"

"It won't be weird," Haley quickly interrupted him, grin overtaking the features of her face despite her better thoughts. "It was just hooking up, right? Not like we're exes or anything. No need to make it weird."

"Right," JJ voiced his agreement. Head full of long blonde locks nodding along at her words, dimples winking at her as they made an appearance in his cheeks when he smiled. "Not making it weird. Here's to that."

She laughed as the happy sack landed in her hands, holding it there as she squinted in the sun, grin cheeky as she gazed at him from her small distance. "Yeah, we'll just have to pretend we've never seen each other naked." She joked as she finally threw him his toy back.

The golden haired boy returned her smile, eyes mischievous as they made a show to glance at her figure from head to toe. "Trust me, I'll have to pretend a lot more beyond that to stay civil."

And before she could even think to voice her thoughts of Fuck, how did that almost kinda turn you on, a sudden and loud blare of a familiar siren startled, Haley’s and JJ's eyes widening as they met, a panicked expression matching in their features.

"Shit!" Haley uttered as JJ dropped the happy sack, her head turning to catch sight of the impending police car making its way towards where they were parked. She quickly glanced to the lighthouse, her heart dropping when she saw no sign of John B or Kiara, JJ grabbing her by the arm suddenly and practically dragging her into the van in the passenger seat, him running to occupy the drivers as Pope's head popped up between the seats, questioning them both erratically. She could give him no answers however, having no idea what had prompted the police to arrive. Haley had no time to think about what could have happened as JJ slammed his foot down, peeling out of the grassy area and away from the scene. "What about John B and Kie?"

"They'll be fine," JJ assured her, though they were empty words. He had no clue what had happened either, or if his friends would make it out and away from the lighthouse in time, but he still reached over and squeezed Haley’s knee gently when he saw her worried look. He caught her gaze and held it. "They'll be fine."

She could only hope that was true.

It was hours later when Haley and the Pogues gathered around John B's kitchen table, deadly silent as everyone processed what had just transpired.

She’d had JJ and Pope drop her off at home after escaping the police at the lighthouse, aware that she had been gone a long while and her mother was probably sick with worry by that point. If she wasn’t home within the hour, Haley had no doubt that she would have the police patrolling the streets, searching for her. When she toldthe boys this, they chuckled as she ordered them to park around the corner from her home, not wanting her mother to spot her leaving the van. She’d told them to call her when they heard from either John or Kiara, and they'd both agreed as she climbed from the van and walked the familiar path to her house.

Sure enough, Lana practically collapsed into her when she’d entered. Her arms were wrapped around Haley so tightly as they squeezed all the air out of her lungs, her mothers voice in her ear a jumbled mess of words laced in a frantic tone. Haley assured her she was fine, that no harm was done, and that she had just gone for a walk around the Outer Banks. Lana seemed hesitant, but had allowed Haley to ease her worries as she led her towards the couch and sat her down, letting her mom hold her for as long as she needed to assure her mind that she were really okay.

Haley felt almost bad, seeing her in such a panicked state. But then she remembered if she had just answered her questions truthfully instead of hiding everything from her than she wouldn't be sneaking around in the first place. And then the guilt subsided, if only a little. (Haley still felt awful.)

It was a couple of hours after that when a knock had sounded on her bedroom window. She had startled, her heart racing as she wondered who the hell could be knocking on her window, at night, too. She almost very nearly didn't go towards it, in fear of the two faces of the men from earlier that day greeting her, but she’d exhaled a sigh of relief when her eyes landed on the face of JJ Maybank.

"Care for a late night drive?" He'd asked, and she’d rolled her eyes. His grin never faltered as he watched her put on her boots, checking in on her mother and determining if the coast was clear to sneak out, before she’d climbed from her window, thankful that the house was only one story as she did so. Despite that fact, JJ's hands still gripped her hips as he helped her (though he didn't have to) down from the window.

She’d felt instant relief when she spotted Kiara and John B sat in the van, having resumed their earlier positions. Kie grinned at her as she got in the back along with JJ and Pope, who smiled at her also, as Haley began to question the both of them on what had happened after they’d fled the scene.

They'd been caught, of course. But they'd also been released, and that was the main thing. Haley decided to focus on the positives as John B drove them all off, this time to a cemetery of all places - leading the way towards a specific grave that he informed them all was his great-great grandmother, Olivia Redfield. Her maiden name, apparently.

And of fucking course inside that crypt was a white FedEx envelope, addressed to Bird, which they would later discover was actually John B's nickname given to him by his dad, who'd actually left the envelope there - hoping one day that his son would find it. (Because of fucking course Big John would do that.)

The pieces to the puzzle were all coming together, bit by it, slowly but surely. They’d all returned to the Chateau upon the discovery of the envelope, which contained a map, the sight very familiar. (The Royal Merchant, of fucking course it was.) And there was a very obvious X displayed on it too, X marks the spot. Along with that, a tape recorder fell into the palm of John B's hand.

"Dear Bird," the voice had started, vaguely familiar to Haley’s ears. There was no question as to who the voice belonged to - Big John Routledge was speaking directly into the room, all five teenagers gathered around listening intently. "I didn't expect to find the Merchant either."

Haley’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, her breath catching in her throat as she glanced at JJ who was beside her, his own face a perfect replica of confusion and amazement.

"There she is, the wreck of the Merchant. If something happens to me, finish what I started." Big John's voice continued to fill the deafening silence of the room. "Go for the gold, kid. I love you, Bird, even if I didn't always act like it. I'll see you on the other side."

The recorder clicked off after that, once again silence engulfing the room. Haley felt her stomach churn, her heartbeat to quicken, her palms beginning to sweat. She couldn't believe it. Big John Routledge had gone and found the Royal Merchant. The Royal Merchant, of which her own father had spent months obsessing over. The Royal Merchant, as in the ship that had sunk over two hundred years ago. The Royal Merchant, in which had bought her and this ragtag group of misfits together.

They all littered around the pontoon close to John B's house, beers in hand as Kie strummed softly on her ukulele, the night air a welcome comfort to Haley’s clammy skin, her heart having still not calmed from when she’d first come to the realisation that Big John had found the Royal Merchant, and now she was joining the Pogues on finishing what he had started - for her own father, she thought as she looked towards the stars in the summer nights sky, smiling softly up at them. For you, dad.

"How much was it again?" JJ broke the silence, the golden haired boy seated closest to her.

"Four hundred mil," John B reminded, though he said it dreamily, almost as if he still couldn't quite believe it. She couldn't, either, in all honesty. Five teenagers, about to charge head-first into a treasure hunt? They had to be crazy. But for four hundred million, anyone would be.

JJ's head turned at rapid speed, before he let out a sigh and clasped his hands together, looking between them all. "Alright, let's talk the split. Now, before we say 'evenly' may I remind you that I am the only one that can properly defend us from those groupers who were after us," he branded the gun, waving it around as he spoke. "Protection? Not cheap, okay?"

"Technically, that should be my gun," Haley pointed out, shrugging a shoulder and smiling cheekily when he turned to glance over at her, frown etched on his lips. "You said so yourself, remember?"

"You said you didn't want it!" He protested instantly.

She licked her lips as she teased him, "Well, maybe I changed my mind."

JJ shook his head, tongue running over his teeth as he stared at her in disbelief, though his smile was enough to let her know he found humour in her actions. "You don't just get backsies on a gun," he deadpanned.

Haley rolled your honey coated eyes as Pope quickly interrupted the two of them. “You haven't trained," he directed towards JJ. "You've done zero training."

"YouTube, bro!" JJ countered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "This," he pointed to the gun. "Is at least a five percent bump right there."

The group collectively ignored him, though Haley sent him a smirk when he looked at her, an expression of am-I-right or am-I-right on his pretty face. Kie tilted her head towards Pope. "What are you gonna do with your eighty mil, Pope?" She questioned.

"Pay for college in advance," the boy answered immediately. "And also, textbooks. Those are expensive."

Haley couldn't help but smile at him, Pope, ever the thoughtful one. She knew if she had half the brains Pope had she’d probably be the exact same as him - planning ahead, working towards college more than anything. She admired the boy, truly. But her future wasn't nearly as bright as Pope's, she was aware of that. Which made the desire to find that treasure from the Royal Merchant all that more huge.

"What about you, Haley?” She was broken from her thoughts as Kie suddenly directed her words to the other girl, raising an expectant brow as she came to, noting the rest of the gang all looking at her with similar expressions.

What would she do with her money? Honestly, she had no idea. She felt incredibly lucky to even be considered to get a share of it, given that she had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, demanding answers about her dead dad and the damned compass that had started it all in the first place. She’d questioned the guys immediately after the discovery of Big John's reveal, telling them that she was totally okay with not getting a share, had even told them she’d back off and leave them to it, though so many more questions needed answering in her mind. But they'd all immediately disagreed, letting her know that she were apart of this just as much as they all were. This was her journey, too.

"Move me and my mom out of our shitty house," Haley decided. "Get a huge ass house on Figure Eight, buy anything that we wanted. Treat her to everything she could have ever dreamed of. Maybe buy a holiday home in Italy, visit there every year and have a holiday romance with an insanely hot Italian guy."

Her and Kiara shared a giggle at that, missing the way the blonde beside her shifted almost uncomfortably, eyes downcast towards the water for a second before he licked his lips, proclaiming loudly, "I know what I'll do. I'm gonna get a big ass house on Figure Eight, and go full Kook," JJ announced, eyes meeting hers and sending her a wink. "We can be neighbours."

Haley laughed outright, shaking her head at his dramatics as he continued. "Gonna get a marble statue of myself, and then I'm gonna get a koi pond, put a bunch of those fish-"

"I'm never visiting." Kie mumbled, interrupting his sentence as they all shared a laugh, gazes suddenly turning to John B who hadn't spoken in a while, the tanned brunette simply staring off into space, almost seemingly lost in his world.

"What about you, John B?" He looked back towards the four of them sprawled out on the pontoon, his eyes catching Haley’s own for a millisecond, the pair of them understanding exactly what was going through both their minds in that moment.

"To going full Kook," he raised the hand that held his beer, the group of Pogues wasting no time in following the action, all their hands raising, beer cans glinting under the moonlight as they all exclaimed, "To going full Kook!" into the summer nights air, the excitement and anticipation present in all of their voices.

And she grinned as she clinked her beer with JJ's, the blonde throwing a careless arm over her shoulder as he tugged her closer to him; Haley’s own naturally wound around his waist in return as they all laughed and joked into the night, the promise of an adventure and bright future's ahead of them all.

She failed to notice that their arms never really left each other until later that night, when her departure from the gang forced her to unwind her limbs from his, their gazes catching, secret smiles on both their faces.

Oh, this would be fun.

[alienantichrist666]

Masquerade (Kylo ren x reader)

Summary: You knew Ben before he turned to the dark side. One day Leia decided to make a party for everybody and somehow she manages to make sure Kylo attends.

Words: 1450

A/n: Hi guys! This was a requests, I really hope you like it.♥️. The requests are always open. Thanks for reading. ♥️♥️♥️ (Gif not mine.)

No” Said Kylo looking down at the tiny hologram figure.

“Come on Ben, it has nothing to do with the resistance or the first order, I just want to see my son, thought it may be a good opportunity“

“How do I know is not a trap?... Princess” answered the tall man with a serious tone.

“I’m your mother Ben” Leia said, the transmission flicking a little “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, besides everyone will be wearing a mask, nobody will notice you”

“As I said before, I’m not going. Now if you excuse me I have better things to do” he said before he turned around and started to walk away.

“Y/N is going to be there” said Leia and he stopped. Looking over his shoulder he stared at the hologram.

“So that’s where she was” he said and began to walk again “anyway… goodbye Princess”  

You knew Kylo Ren before he became who he is now. You basically grow up together and were the closest friends until he went away to train with his uncle Luke. That was the last time you saw him. When you heard he turned to the dark side you joined Leia and the resistance. 

Leia wanted to recreate an ancient masquerade her adoptive parents used to do every year in Alderaan when she was young. And now that she was making it she had invited half of the galaxy, including her son. 

After months of planning and a lot of work from all the resistance members, finally the day of the mysterious party had come. 

The richly decorated room was full of people, most of them from the Resistance, people from every edge of the galaxy, some of them dedicated their time to dance with the delicate music floating in the air, others were inspecting closely the tables covered in abundant and exotc food, but most of them were just chatting. Colorful dresses and soft giggles filled the atmosphere with joy and peace as you have never experienced before.

Heavy footsteps sound as the tall masked figure walked in, carefully crossing the ballroom he stepped near General Leia.

“Hello, Mother” the man said softly, getting a smile in response from the General.

“Ben, you did come!” she said “I’m surprised” she continued sarcasm dancing in her tone. Kylo rolled his eyes under the half black mask he was wearing and stayed next to his mother observing the ballroom and all the people in it.

“So this is what it looked like” he said after a moment and the princess nodded. He remembered all the stories Leia had told him when he was a kid about the parties in Alderaan, he used to imagine what it would feel to be in on of them, many times he and his mother danced pretending they were in a ball, he kept those precious memories safe in his mind. “It's nice”  

After a while the music suddenly changed and everyone started to gather around the little stage next to the dance floor. Everyone seem to be excited when the new band made their way into the stage and started to play a soft yet interesting melody, but the space in front of the microphone was still empty. 

"You said (y/n) was going to be here… where is she?" Kylo asked his mother and she only chuckled.

Then you stepped on stage, without mask and with a fancy low cut dress Leia had gift you a while ago and took your place as the singer. You scanned the room with your gaze as the notes let your throat, in the middle of an ocean of masks a  tall man in black clothes caught your attention.

When the song was over everybody cheered at you. You thanked and made your way out of the stage. You needed a drink. As you were walking to the bar in the other corner of the room your eyes were searching for the man you saw earlier but he was nowhere to be seen.

"I didn't knew you were a singer" you heard a deep voice said behind you. You turned around to find the man you were looking for. He was taller than you. He was dressed up all in black and was wearing a half black mask as well covering his eyes, his long black hair made him look like a prince and in his right cheek you could see part of a scar.

"I'm not, it's just for tonight, General Leia ask me to" You answered looking at him, something about his face seem familiar "Have we met before?" You ask curious. He smirked

"Perhaps a long time ago"

"Let me guess… you are a pilot?" you said "no… oh I know! You are the new radar technician" 

He shook his head with a little smile in his lips.

"Sorry to disappoint you but I'm none of those" 

"Then who are you?" He stepped closer at your question and extended you his hand.

"Dance with me and  find out"

You took his hand and together walked to the center of the dance floor. Putting one of his hands around your waist he drew you closer to him as you lied your free hand over his shoulder. As the dance started you stepped carefully to the right, then the left, your mind a little confused, there were not much free time in the resistance to learn how to dance but the masked man knew his way around, he guided you through the dancefloor with much ease. Definitely not the clumsy radar technician.

You spinned once or twice and you felt the best you have felt in years, the whole room full of people you knew were in peace for the first time, nobody was running, or screaming nor dying. They were relax and it was quite nice to be like that, you could get used to it. But then there were those eyes, brown eyes looking kindly at you, you knew those eyes as well as those large hands wrapped around your waist.

"Who are you?" You asked between the trance you were trapped.

"You're still a little silly, y/n" he said. That's when you realised.

"Ben?" it suddenly hit you. He nodded

"Nobody calls me that nowadays" he said "well, except my mom"  both laughed.

You stayed silent just enjoying the warm feeling the dance gave you. You thought about your golden childhood, the days when you didn't have to worry about anything; but mostly your time with Ben, fighting with sticks pretending you were Jedi knights, he teaching you to fly the falcon, how excited and hopeful he was about the future. The feeling that he was staring at you woke you from your thoughts.

"I miss those times too" he said as he would knew what you were thinking, did he read your mind? Was he using his powers to get information of the resistance from you? 

At this point you started to wonder what he really was doing here.

"I'm not here to cause any trouble" Kylo said a little guilt in his voice "and yes, I read your mind, sorry is a bad habit"

"So… what are you doing here then?"

"I wanted to see you" a little smile formed in his lips. 

You looked at him with wondering eyes, his mask hindering your vision, you wanted to see Kylo without it, to see if the boy you loved a long time ago still there. Without thinking, you place one hand into his cheek, you ran your thumb over his scar and he closed his eyes at your touch. Slowly you grabbed the edge of his mask, you were about to take it off when a large hand landed on yours.

"Please don't" he said softly. 

"But I want to…."

"I know" 

Without any warning he captured your lips in a passionate kiss. Warm and soft lips danced together with yours as he held you close as if his life depended on it. You felt like time itself while he kissed you.

After a time he pulled apart a little, his lips still brushing on yours.

"Come with me" he said "we can go anywhere" he gave you a quick kiss. "please"

"You know I can't do that" you told him.

"Then stay with me" he said sadness dancing on his tone "even if it's just for tonight."

The ball continued and  you spent every moment you could by his side dancing, chating, even laughing. For one night you didn't care about what could  happen the next day and you never wanted it to end. It was a magical night that surely you would never forget.

[snow-pitch-grimm]

What Could Have Been

Summary: Baz finds a spell a time travel spell in his family library. He knows he shouldn’t consider it. It’s hard to ignore the possibilities though.

BAZ

I don't mean to find it.

Our library is filled with old and interesting artifacts. I've never taken the time to look through them. However, since the whole thing with the Mage and the holes, we've had to move a lot of things.

I'm looking through a stack of books when a loose page falls out.

Picking it up, I see that it's a spell in Latin.

A Time travel spell. It allows you to go back and change one event in the past.

I know I should put it down and forget it. Burn it even. The Grimms might tend to do dark rituals in secret, but most of them are small and harmless. No one in my family would try this. No one would approve of it.

I fold the paper and put it in my pocket.

All through dinner, I can feel the paper burning a hole through me.

My family notices something's up. Fiona keeps trying to get me to talk, Father asks me if there's something on my mind, and Daphne offers me food until I have to tell her to stop.

At least they're not bothered by my fangs anymore.

xxx

Later, up in my room, I open the paper I look at the spell again.

It's simple enough.

You say one incantation while thinking on the even you want before going to sleep, which causes some sort of dream. You wake up and say another incantation. It transports you to the event you wish to change. Once that's done, you're transported back to your time, except wit ha different future.

I don't think about it too much. If I think about it and all its consequences, I'll talk myself out of it. I don't want to talk myself out of it. Instead, I think of the night of the attack, of the teeth sinking into my neck, of my mum dying.

Then I say the incantation.

At first, nothing happens. Then I start to feel very tired. Barely able to keep myself standing, I head to my bed and fall in it, not caring that I'm still dressed.

xxx

When I wake up, I feel an uncontrollable urge to get out of the room. I head out but don't hear anything.

That's odd. My siblings should be up and making noise by now.

I head to the kitchen and stop dead in my tracks. Sitting there, sipping on tea are my parents.

As in my parents, Malcolm and Natasha.

My mum (oh Merlin, my mum) looks up at me and smiles.

"Lovely of you to join us, Tyrannus," says mum, putting her cup down

Before I can think of what I'm doing, I throw my arms around her, burying my face into her shoulder.

"Oh, Ty," she says, "What's going on?"

"Are you alright, son?" asks my father and I feel his heavy hand on my back

I pull away and smile.

"Just a bad dream,"

"Oh well," says father, "We all have those sometimes,"

"Yes," says mum, "Come sit and have some tea,"

I nod and sit down, keeping my eyes on my mum. It feels like she'll disappear if I don't.

I sip the tea she sets down in front of me. Hmm, it's a little sweeter than when Daphne makes.

Daphne.

The woman I call Mother.

"Uh, I saw Daphne the other day," I say conversationally, trying to gauge their reaction.

"Oh," says mum, "Huh, I haven't seen her in a while. Did you know she used to have a crush on your father at Watford?"

Father snorts, "She did not,"

"Oh, she did," says mum, "Not that I blame her,"

Father giver her a soft look at that.

I can't help but let my thoughts wander, though. If Daphne was never with father, there is no Mordelia, no Octavia, no Victoria, and no Collin.

I don't have younger siblings. I'm not a big brother.

The thought makes my heart hurt.

I love my siblings, but at the same time, I don't have siblings.

But I have my mum. That's okay.

(No it's not)

"So, Tyrannus," says mum, "We were discussing the fact that you don't have a girlfriend yet,"

My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach.

I wasn't out to them. Why wasn't I out to them? Was my mum intolerant? Was I afraid to come out?

"I'm sure he'll find a partner in due time, Natasha. The boy is still young and contrary to popular belief, graduating Watford single doesn't mean staying single your whole life,"

He said 'partner,' not a girlfriend or wife. Partner. It could be just the way he talked. Yet...

"Yes. Fine," sighed my mother, "Anyway, I need to make a few calls. I'll see you two later,"

She gives us both a kiss on the cheek and heads out of the kitchen.

Once she's out of earshot, Father turns to me and smiles sadly.

"Sorry about that, Ty," he says (He hates that name. He always calls me Basilton. I'm supposed to be Basilton)

"I know my initial reaction deterred you, and I'm sorry about that, but maybe you should consider telling her about your sexuality,"

My stomach twists painfully. So I am out. Just not to my mother.

This isn't how I imagined it. Not how I imagined it at all.

Speaking of being out. What about...?

I'm scared to ask.

"I'll tell her in due time," I say

He sighs, "Probably a good idea, with the humdrum and all,"

"Father," I say, "Do you know anything about Simon Snow?"

"Who, now?"

The world tilts and shatters.

"Just a name I overheard," I say shakily, quickly getting up "I'm going to go to my room now,"

"Ty, son -are you-"

I can hear him calling for me as I walk out of the room. I keep going.

Simon must have still grown up in those homes. I never met him. I never fell in love with him and yet I remember everything.

Simon's lovely smile. Penelope's magic. Mordelia's sarcasm. Collin's babbling. The twins and their mischief. Father and Daphne dancing at their wedding. Daphne, who always said she had five children instead of four.

As soon as I pick up the phone, I dial a number. Hoping it's the same one.

"Hey, Ty," says a cheerful voice

"Hey, Bunce,"

"Merlin, you haven't called me that since our first year," she says, "Took me a long time to train you out of it. Don't undo the progress. Anyway, I had a few things I wanted to discuss with you, especially about our flat and..."

She keeps talking about our plans and our future studies.

We're friends, old friends.

The phone drops from my hand. On the other side, I can hear her still saying something, but my world is spinning again, and I feel sick.

I want Simon.

I want Mordelia and my other siblings. I want Father and his Basilton. I want Daphne and her bitter tea.

I want Home.

xxx

I wake up gasping.

I'm in my bed again, wearing the same clothes I wore to dinner.

Does this mean- could it-

I run out of my room and down the stairs. Not caring that I'm too old for it.

Father and Fiona are sitting, sipping their tea.

Father looks up when he hears me and his eyes widen.

"Basilton, are you alright?" he asks

Basilton. Not Tyrannus. Not Ty. I'm Basilton.

Basilton.

"Where's Mother?" I ask them

"She went to get Collin ready. They're going to see her mother remember?"

"Are you okay, boyo?" asks Fiona, getting up and coming toward me

I back out of the doorway.

"No-yes. I'm just going to head to my room," I say before bolting from there.

xxx

I go back and reread the spell.

It seems like I missed something. The first incantation is supposed to give you a taste.

The second one makes it come true.

If I say it, I'll have my mum.

If I say it, there won't be Daphne, or my siblings or Snow.

I can't do it. I just can't.

I can't get rid of it either

I'm weak.

That's how Fiona and Father find me — sitting on the bed, staring at the paper.

They knock and come in.

"Basil," says Fiona, "What's going on? You're scaring us a bit,"

I look at them, showing them my red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

"Basilton," says Father, coming close and setting a hand on my shoulder, "Tell us,"

"I almost did something awful," I whisper

I and them the spell and they read it over. Unlike me, they probably don't miss a crucial part.

They're smart people, so when they look at me with sad eyes. I know they've figured out what happened.

"Oh, Basilton," says Father as he sits down beside me. Fiona in front of us.

I'm Basilton.

I throw myself at him, crying into his shoulder.

"Father," I choke out, "Father,"

He shushes me gently while Fiona says soft words and rubs my back.

"It's okay, boyo. We got you,"

"It was awful," I say through my sniffles, "You kept calling my Ty. I'm not supposed to be Ty. I'm Basilton,"

Somehow my father understands.

"Of course, son. Of course, you're Basilton,"

I let out a loud sob at that. I sound anguished and in pain, but I can't bring myself to care.

I'm Basilton.

Once I've calmed down, Fiona holds out the paper.

"We should burn it," she whispers

Father looks at me, and I nod.

Fiona summons her fire first. It's lesser than my mum's, but it smells like hers. My Father summons his next. It's a small but steady flame. A light in the dark, so to speak.

I summon mine last. It's brighter then both of theirs combined.

We put our hands together (Carefully. I'm still flammable)

Fiona puts the paper into our joint fire, and it burns instantly.

xxx

"You're always our Basilton, okay?" says Father before they head out of my room.

"I know," I tell him

xxx

Later I find Daphne and hug her tightly.

"I love you, Mother,"

She doesn't understand, but she's soft and kind. She's always soft and kind.

"I love you too, Basilton,"

xxx

I call Simon, and Penelope is there, so I tell them to put it on speaker.

I tell them everything, beginning to end.

"Oh, Baz," says Simon, "We're still here. We're the same. I'm your terrible boyfriend and Penelope your friend-but-not-friend,"

"Exactly Basil," says Penelope

It's okay.

Everything's okay. Right as it should be

(I hope you have peace, mum. I'm okay now)